


What she really wants

by Qxeenkilla



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Chaelisa - Freeform, F/F, Mostly chaelisa, Slow Burn, but a little bit of JenSoo too, guranteed ooc, multi-chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-23 12:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11989464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qxeenkilla/pseuds/Qxeenkilla
Summary: Chaeyoung didn't expect to end up in a gay club.Lisa didn't expect Chaeyoung to captivate her in ways no-one else had done before.





	1. The beginning

Ending up in a gay club in Seoul was not how Chaeyoung expected her Wednesday night to have gone. 

Yet, expectation proved to be nothing but that, expectation, because at ten o'clock at night Chaeyoung was shuffling inside the doors of the club. Truth be told, Chaeyoung did not know what she was doing there. She understood it to be morbid curiosity, or something alluding to that. It was certainly not premeditated. She just happened to walk past the bar and was intrigued at the charismatic exterior of the place, what with the bright colours and loud, energetic music. She had no  _idea_ it was a  _gay club_. 

At least, that was the story Chaeyoung memorised, in the unlikely case that someone she knew caught her slipping into the club and she had to explain herself. The truth was oddly similar, but a lot more creepy. Chaeyoung was actually following someone. A girl, to be exact. As Chaeyoung was eating alone at one of the restaurants near the club, she spotted the girl vaguely, she had bright red hair and bangs, and she was leaving with another brunette. They hugged as they parted ways, but just as the redhead turned her wallet unexpectedly fell out. Chaeyoung looked around to see if anyone had seen the occurrence but there were barely any others in the restaurant due to the late time. Chaeyoung drew it upon herself to be the saviour of this situation and kindly hand the redhead her wallet. But, the girl walked  _fast._ So fast that she'd already turned a corner by the time Chaeyoung had picked up her wallet, beginning the rather peculiar chase, which of course ended at the gay club. It was no lie that Chaeyoung didn't know it was a gay club, not even when she entered and saw two men intimately whispering to each other right by the door. She just assumed it was platonic. After all, the music was loud and rather overbearing, you had to be close to hear other people speak.

Her eyes wandered around almost helplessly. Redhead was nowhere to be found. It was as if she'd vanished. Now, Chaeyoung was lost in a crowd that was aesthetically different, a crowd that was full of different hairstyles and funky colours and clothes that Chaeyoung was beginning to question. Something wasn't right... this bar was a tad unconventional... 

"Hey princess. You look lost." A female whispered in her ear. Chaeyoung nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden voice, turning around to the said whisperer in horrified confusion.

A pretty woman with short dark hair and bright green lipstick (A combination that actually worked, much to Chaeyoung's surprise) was... smirking? At Chaeyoung in a way that was making her feel uncomfortable. It was a smirk that one gives when they're attracted to another, a flirty, suggestive smirk. Chaeyoung frowned.

"Uh... I am actually. I'm looking for a redhead with bangs, do you know her?" After asking the question, Chaeyoung did realise that it was a shot in the dark. What were the odds of this woman (Who was way too close for comfort) knowing about the whereabouts of another random woman with whom Chaeyoung didn't even know the name of? Yes, she could've checked the strangers wallet to see if her ID was there but she didn't want to be intrusive. She was a woman of strong moral beliefs, meaning that snooping was a no no.

Green lipstick's face showcased recognition. She even seemed disappointed. "Oh, you're one of Lisa's. She's up there." She monotonously responded, the smirk on her face gone and replaced with indifference. Her hand gestured vaguely to a spot above Chaeyoung that overlooked the entire bar. It was partially concealed so the red head was not visible to anyone. The swanky look of the place let chaeyoung know immediately that it was a VIP section, and Chaeyoung wanted to scream at the drama she had to go through just to return a strangers wallet. _Chivarly is not dead_ she sighed in her head. Plus, what had that woman meant by 'you're  one of Lisa's?" That was the strangers name? One of her what? And why was it said with such resentment and jealousy?

But, Chaeyoung just wanted to return the wallet and leave, so she hastily mumbled a 'Thank you' to green lipstick and made her way up the steps that led to the VIP section. As she expected, a man in a black suit was guarding the entrance. Chaeyoung sighed and felt the need to face palm. It shouldn't have been this difficult.

"Sorry miss this is VIP only." The gruff man immediately rebuffed.

Chaeyoung refrained from rolling her eyes. She felt like just throwing the wallet over the mans shoulder and making a run for it, but she also wanted to personally hand it to this 'Lisa' so that she could get a thank you. It was the least the girl could do. Surreptiously, she sneaked a glance over his broad shoulder (It was hard, he was tall) and saw Lisa seated comfortable on what looked like a recliner, an empty glass in her hand. She looked even better close up, but alone. A club full of people and she opted to sit alone with a bottle of wine, overlooking the havoc below. Peculiar. Chaeyoung felt rather intimidated. Who the hell was this woman? Maybe she could just throw the wallet and book it, that would save the awkwardness of this encounter. But then, suddenly, as if Lisa had felt Chaeyoung's eyes on her own, the redhead turned. Now, her soft brown eyes were locked on Chaeyoung's, the confusion blatant. Chaeyoung drew her eyes away and focused her attention on the bouncer, who was looking at her as if he was wondering why she hadn't left yet.

 "I have an um... I have something for that girl. Her wallet." She said quietly, fumbling in her pocket and extracting the wallet, holding it up at the bouncer for proof. 

He just nodded and turned to Lisa. Chaeyoung kept her eyes trained at her feet, embarrassed for some reason to look up. 

"It's your lucky day Lisa. She found your wallet." 

"Let her in please." Were the four words that left Lisa's lips. 

The bouncer nodded and turned back to the shy girl who was still staring at her feet.

"Go on then. You can give it to her." He said amusedly. There was something mocking in his tone, like some kind of private joke was going on that Chaeyoung wasn't aware of. She looked up and gave him a cutting glare before brushing past him into the small VIP section. Lisa's eyes followed her in curiosity as she approached her with an outstretched hand, brandishing the wallet. 

"You... You dropped this outside the restaurant around the corner from here." Chaeyoung explained. She was keeping a safe distance away from Lisa, afraid of coming any closer.

 It was ridiculously cautious, but Chaeyoung still had no clue who Lisa was and why the club was so different the ones she usually attended. (Not that she attended many, the club scene definitely wasn't her thing). Lisa nodded once, her facial expression unreadable. She was curious, interested. An extremely beautiful girl just appearing in a gay club with her wallet warranted some confusion. There was a straight vibe about her too, but Lisa didn't judge, she loved progressive people. So, she broke into her signature wide grin, trying to come off as friendly.

The girl smiled back, but in a more reserved manner.

"Perfect timing. I literally just realised it had gone missing." Lisa chuckled. "Thank you so much."

Chaeyoung nodded, finding it difficult to meet Lisa's unwavering eyes. Although she was shy, Chaeyoung wasn't usually so intimidated by other women. And, Lisa wasn't even the 'intimidating' type. She was friendly, and her smile held his sort of cute innocence to it that many would probably find endearing. However, there was something else behind the smile and the friendliness.

Something less innocent.

"No problem." Chaeyoung responded. "Just out of curiosity, how were you allowed in this club without your ID and wallet?" She questioned, looking back up at Lisa inquisitively. 

Chaeyoung had to show her ID before entering the bar, and here Lisa was relaxing in the VIP lounge with no form of ID whatsoever. It was rather strange. Unless she owned the place, which was unlikely. Lisa tried to conceal a smile. She felt certain that this poor girl didn't know that the club was a gay one. 

"My friends own this beauty. Plus, I'm a donor, so my cash kind of keeps her alive."  

Chaeyoung nodded, trying to hide her surprise. If Lisa was a 'donor' she must've been relatively wealthy, it only made sense right? What the hell did she do for a living? She seemed pretty young to be using her disposable income on funding a club.

"I see," Chaeyoung chose her next words carefully. "So you must have a pretty stable job then right? 

Lisa was grinning now, intrigued by this strangers pressing questions and intrigued by her beauty. Tonight she had vowed to spend her time alone, making sure everything was functioning correctly. Afterwards, she was even planning on hooking up with one of the party goers downstairs who would be eager to spend the night with her. Normally she'd have a woman by her side in the VIP section and another waiting outside but she'd just finished eating with Sowon, one of her close friends and she had convinced Lisa to take some time for herself. And now here was this stunner, who Lisa was undeniably attracted to. Who wouldn't be? She looked sexy in her grey turtleneck and black coat, this timidness to her character, evident in the way she walked, and the way she talked and the way she was avoiding eye contact. Lisa wasn't used to it.  

"You could say that. I just like helping out. There's hardly any quality gay clubs in Seoul." 

_Gay clubs._

_Gay..._

_Clubs..._

Chaeyoung visibly froze, repeating the two words in her head over and over again. She must've heard wrong, surely. 

"Sorry what was that?" She asked carefully, hoping, praying that she had misheard it. Surely she'd misheard it. 

 _Please let let me have misheard it_...

Lisa just stared at her, cool and collected. "I said there's hardly any gay clubs in Seoul." She repeated, this time putting extra emphasis on the 'gay'.  

Chaeyoung cuttingly broke eye contact and looked down at the bar. Now, the scene was different in her eyes. She finally noticed that the two men by the door were actually kissing, she noticed the _close_ dancing between two _women_ , and even the hushed whispers and giggles coming from the bathroom. This was a gay club. She was standing in a gay club, in the VIP section, with a redhead with bangs who funded the gay club and whose friend owned the gay club. The more she said it in her head the more her stomach turned.

Chaeyoung almost choked on her own spit, the harsh reality feeling like a slap in the face. if anyone she knew saw her enter the club... If her  _family_ found out...

Meanwhile, Lisa was analysing Chaeyoung in interest, her head quirked to the side. She had thought this was amusing initially, but now Chaeyoung looked as if she was about to cry. Her face had gone deathly pale and her chest was having up and down rapidly. Lisa was instantly filled with worry.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. No one will suspect anything, you're only here to return a wallet, thats all." She said soothingly, refraining from standing up to comfort the other girl. Based on her reaction, any physical contact would not be received well. 

Chaeyoung visibly calmed down a little. "I-- Sorry... I just don't want... I'm going to go now." She hastily bowed at Lisa and scurried away like a dog with its tail between its legs. 

Lisa's eyes stayed on her until she was out of the club, her mind perturbed with an odd feeling. Then, without thinking about it twice, she stood and followed Chaeyoung.

 

 

 


	2. The second beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Just a quick note,
> 
> I've made the girls a little older than they actually are for the stories purposes)

Chaeyoung had never walked so quickly in her life.

The fact that she had just spent almost twenty minutes in a 'gay club' was plaguing her mind like a sudden disease, she couldn't shake the embarrassment and shock of the matter.

 _Does that mean that the girl with the green lipstick... Oh my god..._  

She tried hard not to overthink the event, instead focusing on getting the hell out of there. As she was nearing the door, she heard someone yell "Yes Lisa! Get her tiger!". Confused, Chaeyoung turned her head to look back, seeing Lisa's distinctive body pushing through the crowd to get to her.  _Goddammit_ Chaeyoung cursed in her head, walking even faster. The last thing she wanted to do was face Lisa now, the redhead's personality perplexed Chaeyoung and she sure wasn't in the mood to have any form of conversation with her. She was aware by now that Lisa must have had some sort of reputation in this place, the party-goers assumed that she was tailing after one of her 'hookups'. Even thinking that other people thought that made Chaeyoung want to cringe. 

The cold night's air hit Chaeyoung's face as she hurried down the street, the change in climate making her head feel a little dizzy. It was empty for the most part, with only the street lights and a couple drunk people stumbling around prevalent. Chaeyoung liked the almost-silent hum of the city usually. But now, she just wanted to reach her car and head home to her warm bed.

"Miss! Madam!" Came Lisa's voice. Chaeyoung closed her eyes and stopped in her tracks. She really thought she'd lost the redhead.

 _What could she possibly want_ Chaeyoung thought in annoyance. There were no more words to exchange between the two of them. Lisa had her wallet, Chaeyoung received her thank you and that was all that needed to be said. Nonetheless, she waited for her to catch up. Her feet were glued to the spot. Lisa caught up with her in no time, her long legs no doubt being a massive advantage here. She was heaving a little, clearly out of breath. Chaeyoung sighed and turned around to face the redhead. 

She regretted it. Brown eyes that swam with confusion gazed into her own, and Chaeyoung had no idea what she was feeling, something close to guilt perhaps? Whatever it was, it was making it extremely hard to look away, as if some unspoken rule had forced their eyes to lock. 

"Are you okay? When I mentioned the gay club thing you looked as if you had seen a ghost." Lisa cracked a smile, clearly attempting to lighten the intense atmosphere. Chaeyoung didn't return the smile.

"I apologise for my abruptness. A gay club isn't exactly where I want to be seen." She responded coldly. But, as soon as the words exited Chaeyoung's mouth she winced, realising how harsh they sounded. The redhead didn't look as fazed, albeit a little disappointed. She was used to this kind of judgemental behaviour from straight people, she was simply hoping that maybe this beautiful girl would be different and more forthcoming than everyone else. She was wrong, obviously. 

"Ahah, I get it. You wouldn't normally be caught dead in a place like that, with us gays. It would tarnish your heterosexual reputation and god  _forbid_ anyone thinks you're a lesbo too." Lisa said, her words dripping with sarcasm. Chaeyoung's eyes narrowed. She was shy, but she knew how to defend herself and sarcasm was a trigger for her to blow up.

"No need to be sarcastic. I wouldn't expect _you_ to understand."

Lisa laughed. "No need to be condescending." She countered, earning an eye roll from Chaeyoung. "Look, I get it. You're a straight girl, you stumbled into a gay club, you're shocked and horrified and scared that someone will discover. I get it, I do. But maybe tone down the attitude a little alright?" What made the entire thing even more infuriating was the wide grin that was still on Lisa's face despite her words, like the girl was finding this hilarious. Chaeyoung wasn't.  

She scoffed at Lisa, her face contorting into what many like to call ' _Extremely pissed off mode_ '. Sure, maybe what she said was a little harsh, but Chaeyoung was not about to be spoken to like that by a practical stranger who didn't even know her _name._  She had half a mind to slap that grin right off Lisa's smug gorgeous face! What? What.

"If you think I'm going to let you talk down to me, you're wrong. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to my car. Have a nice night." Chaeyoung literally hissed.  

Lisa frowned a little, her eyes looking past Chaeyoung and down the street. She seemed to be struggling with an intense internal debate before letting out a defeated sigh. "It's really dark and the car park is quite a walk away. I'll walk with you." She propositioned, or rather  _stated_. The confidence exuding from the redhead was intoxicating, and _absurd_.

Chaeyoung looked at her as if she was crazy, a half laugh-half scoff releasing from her lips. "Thank you so much for the offer but I'm going to have to kindly decline." She gave Lisa a taste of her own sarcastic medicine, feeling great afterwards when she saw the usual smiley girl roll her eyes in annoyance.  _Not so smug now are you_ She triumphantly thought. 

"It wasn't an offer. These streets are dangerous, especially for a lady like yourself." Lisa simply shrugged, her daring eyes travelling down Chaeyoung's body as she said the last sentence. Chaeyoung didn't know if Lisa was mocking her fragility, or checking her out, the redhead was ever so confusing. But, she did know that she felt incredibly offended, and a little self conscious. Regardless of the intent of her words, the conviction made it sound as if Lisa was saying that Chaeyoung couldn't defend herself. Granted, Chaeyoung knew that the streets were dangerous, and she was admittedly anxious to make the journey to her car alone, especially given the fact that many drunken men were patrolling the streets at the time. But, she had no idea why Lisa, a girl with whom she had literally just had an argument with, was offering to be her right hand and bring her to her car safely. It was an act of concern, which was baffling Chaeyoung because  _why_ would the redhead be concerned about a stranger who she thought to be ' _condescending_ '?

"And _you_ are going to protect me from harm?" Chaeyoung exasperated. Lisa was just as slim as she was, but She wasn't exactly your typical bodyguard.

Now it was Lisa's turn to half laugh-half scoff. Though, rather than being straight up offended like Chaeyoung, she was holding a hand to her chest, pretending to be hurt. That stupid shit-eating grin was still on her face.  

"Yah! You're going to judge my protective abilities based on my physique?" She said with raised eyebrows. Chaeyoung was finding it incredibly difficult to stay offended when the redhead was so bashful. 

"You literally did the same thing to me!"  

Lisa laughed. She had an infectious laughter, so much so that Chaeyoung was fighting a smile from creeping up on her face in response. "Touché. Look I know we got off on the wrong foot and I feel like you're lowkey homophobic but I'd sleep soundly if I knew that you got to your car safely so  _please_ just allow me to accompany you and you'll never see my face again, I promise." She sincerely said, her grin lessened to a slight upwards tilt of the lips. Once again, Chaeyoung found herself unable to look away. She let out a deep sigh and nodded, if only to get the girl off her back for good.

"Fine. You may." 

Lisa cheered and Chaeyoung giggled. It was crazy how just ten minutes ago Chaeyoung was on the verge of tears upon knowing that she'd entered a gay club against her knowing, and now Lisa (Who was probably part of the lgbt community herself, but she was choosing not to think about that right now) was walking her to her car like they had just finished having a date. They walked side by side, the first couple of minutes in complete silence. Chaeyoung didn't really mind it, but as much as she hated to admit it she did feel safer with the lanky girl beside her. Maybe it was just her protective aura, she didn't know. She was also acutely aware of Lisa's perfume, despite being outside it permeated the air around her comfortingly.  _Is she hypnotising me or something?_ Chaeyoung thought.  

"What's your name?" Lisa broke the silence suddenly.  

"Chaeyoung." Another short silence. "And you're Lisa?" She looked to her left, seeing Lisa give a simple nod.  

"Uh-huh. How old are you?"

Chaeyoung pulled a face. "Why is that relevant?"  

Lisa shrugged. "I need to know whether to call you unnie or not."

An eye roll. "I'm twenty three." 

Lisa gasped dramatically, her eyes widened. She was such a goof. "No way! You look at least thirty!"

Chaeyoung tutted and playfully slapped Lisa on the shoulder. She didn't know where this was coming from, this banter between the two of them, but it felt natural, and she didn't want to question it just yet. 

Lisa sighed. "You know, its a shame you're uncomfortable about the whole gay thing, you don't seem like a terrible person."  

 _Ah yes, the whole gay thing._  

Chaeyoung looked to Lisa, seeing the melancholy expression on the latter's pretty face. She felt guilt nibble at her stomach, Lisa looked like a sad puppy when she was upset. 

"I'm not homophobic. At least, I don't think I am... I just don't want anyone to know I was in a gay club, my family are super conservative and..." Chaeyoung hardly knew what to say. She didn't really know her stance on homosexuality. Her main concern was being caught in the club and having the information somehow relayed to her parents, and knowing that they would be undoubtedly disappointed in her. It was tasteless paranoia, that was all.  

Lisa nodded once. "You must be a really paranoid person."

"A little." 

The redhead was thinking. "So if..." Lisa moved from beside Chaeyoung to infront of her, walking backwards as she faced the other girl. "...I told you I was a lesbian, how would you feel?" She asked, staring at Chaeyoung as if her maybe-homophobic-but-probably-isn't self was incredibly fascinating. Chaeyoung didn't really like that stare, it was a little more penetrating than usual, as If Lisa was reading every detail on Chaeyoung's face, every twitch, and every breath, and every blink. As ridiculous as it sounds, Chaeyoung felt like Lisa was closer to her than she actually was, like she had invaded her personal space, when in reality the redhead was a good three steps ahead. She felt scrutinised, and it was making her breath slightly heavier, making her hands slight clammier. Suddenly, bold and brave Chaeyoung was gone and in her place was the usual shy timid Chaeyoung. She'd been completely thrown off her game. 

"I-I don't think I'd care. I mean, I don't know you."

It was the truth, and all that Chaeyoung could muster up when her mind was elsewhere. Lisa shrugged as if this answer was sufficient and drew her eyes away from Chaeyoung, moving back beside her. The rest of the journey was silent, and when Chaeyoung finally reached the car park she was half relieved. 

"Thanks for... You know." Chaeyoung said, pretending to look for her keys so that she didn't have to see Lisa's face. 

"No problem. It was nice meeting you, even though we argued."  

Chaeyoung pulled out her keys and smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Brown eyes followed the action. She could feel them. "Are you going to be able to get back safely?" She asked. 

Lisa was grinning now. "Miss Chaeyoung, are you worried about me, a stranger?" She gasped.

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. "Just answer the question." She said. 

"I'll be fine. I promise." Lisa chuckled. 

Chaeyoung nodded. "Okay, i'll hold you to that." She opened her car door."Goodbye, Lisa."  

Lisa waved at the beautiful girl. "Goodbye Chaeyoung."

As the car reversed and drove away, Lisa sighed, knowing that that was probably the last time she would ever see the girl. It hurt her more than she'd care to admit.

 

 

 

 


	3. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter Chapter. Introducing Jennie and Jisoo's dynamic sort of. Enjoy.

"Rosé what is going on with you? You seem completely out of it today," Chaeyoung's co-worker and closest friend Jennie asked, concern lining her features. The girl had been monotonously typing away at her computer like a robot for hours now, her mind seemed to be in orbit, not completely focusing on her work. 

Chaeyoung stopped working and looked up to give her friend a reassuring smile. "I'm good. Just very tired." It was true, Chaeyoung was exhausted. Not only had she gotten home late the night prior, her mind was filled with the events that unravelled that day and she was finding it increasingly difficult to focus. Graphic design, unfortunately, required focus and precision, and so Chaeyoung's distracted self had not gone unnoticed. 

Jennie decided to make her friend feel better. "So, remember that guy I was telling you about?" She playfully began, nudging Chaeyoung like schoolgirls do when they tease their friends about a crush. But, her words fell on uninterested ears. Chaeyoung was barely listening, her mind slowly enveloping her.  _I wonder how Lisa is doing, if she got home safe._ She speculated as she drew the mouse to another point on the screen, attempting to make the logo look brighter and more vivid. She liked using colours in her designs, bright, charismatic colours that stood out when one looked at them, much like the colours in the club the night before. Chaeyoung's mind flickered back to the green strobes of light, and the way Lisa's soft features became accentuated in them. 

"Jungwoo? The one you said was good looking? Well he called yester-- Yah!" Jennie's fingers snapping infront of Chaeyoung's dulled face brought her attention abruptly back to her friend. 

"Yes, yes I remember." Chaeyoung lied distractedly. Jennie showed her a new 'hot guy friend' on a weekly basis and Chaeyoung usually just called them handsome so she would get Jennie off her back. You see, Jennie was adamant about finding Chaeyoung a boyfriend, despite her protests and reluctance. The poor girl had devoted so much of her time and energy in her studies and finding work that she had neglected her love life completely. It wasn't like she didn't have people who would be willing to court her. All Jennie had to do was show her male friends a picture of Chaeyoung and they'd 'fall in love'. She was undeniably attractive, sweet and polite, shy, but also feisty when she needed to be. To most guys, this was ideal. But chaeyoung did not show an ounce of interest in getting to know any of them, and Jennie wasn't stupid, she knew that her friend only called them good looking to appease her. She just wished that she was more open to dating.

"How long are you going to be single for?" Jennie sighed. "You're going to reach thirty and you wouldn't even have had your first kiss!" 

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. "Jennie just because I don't date doesn't mean I'm completely celibate. I've done more than you think." She was sick of people thinking that she was some nun, she was a human with desires just like everyone else, she'd fucked guys before, she just didn't do it often and she didn't broadcast it to everyone. It was never enjoyable and it always left her unsatisfied, which is why she wasn't jumping at the idea of dating a guy for a long period of time.

Jennie raised her eyebrows in surprise, twisting her chair so that it faced her pretty friend. "Is that why you're so 'tired' today? What were you up to yesterday you rebel!" She teased in a hushed tone, watching as Chaeyoung immediately became more uncomfortable. she was literally squirming in her seat, which Jennie mistook as a definite "Yes I fucked someone". Little did she know that Chaeyoung's discomfort was deriving from the image of a certain redheaded lesbian. 

"Nothing! I just went to that restaurant downtown. That's all." Chaeyoung dismissed. 

"Downtown? What were you doing there at that time!" Even Jennie understood how dangerous that side of Seoul was, it was also notorious for being the place where... 'freaks' hung out.

"I was eating... Then I saw this girl drop her wallet so I went to give it to her, but she..." Chaeyoung's face was burning red in embarrassment. "She went into this club, and I followed her in there..."

Jennie was confused. "And? That's a very nice thing to do."

Chaeyoung, having known Jennie for two years now, understood that she was one of the few more... open minded of everyone she knew. That was the only reason she was willing to disclose the events of last night to her, she trusted the girl and trusted that she wouldn't spread any information.

"Because it was a gay club. And I didn't know, so I went in there and everyone probably saw me." Chaeyoung finally let out, in a mere whisper so that no-one else could hear. She was watching Jennie's facial expression closely, rather surprised when she did not see the disgust on the latters face like he had expected. But, what she did see, even for a split second, was a look of sheer shock on Jennie's face.

"Does..." Jennie cleared her throat and turned away from Chaeyoung abruptly. "Is it the one that um..." She paused. "Well, there's this club that someone I used to know in college owns, but its probably not the same one. It couldn't be." Jennie looked as if she was trying to convince herself that this may be the case. Chaeyoung was more surprised that Jennie knew someone who owned a gay club that she didn't take notice of Jennie's sudden pained facial expression, like she had came across a memory too painful to think about.

Chaeyoung told Jennie the address and watched as she nodded in recognition. "Yeah... An old college friend owns that place." She despondently said, turning back to face her computer. Chaeyoung knew that she didn't want to talk about it further, and for the rest of the day her best friend stayed silent, similar to the way Chaeyoung was before. Her mind was also preoccupied. 

-

"Remember that time you spilled coffee all over your computer on your first day here, and I covered for you and put all the blame on me?" Jennie said suddenly, as the pair were leaving the building for the day. It was the first thing she had said since Chaeyoung mentioned the club hours ago. 

"Of course I do. I still owe you for that." Chaeyoung hated thinking back to that day, to the sheer embarrassment and panic that took over her as she watched the coffee spread over the keyboard like it was mocking her. Jennie, bless her soul, immediately saw Chaeyoung's dismay and jumped in to cover for her. Chaeyoung still thanked her to this day, if not for her she would've no doubt been fired on the spot. 

Jennie nodded curtly. "I need that favour to be cashed in now." 

"Anything you want." Chaeyoung didn't hesitate.

Jennie, with eyes that were not  _there,_ sighed. She wasn't looking at Chaeyoung as she spoke.

"I need you to come with me to that club you went to yesterday." 

Chaeyoung laughed at first, thinking that it was a joke. But, upon seeing Jennie's desperate facial expression her laughter faded into nothing. She wasn't joking. And Chaeyoung had so many questions swirling around in her head that she didn't know how to react.

"What--"

"I need to give Jisoo something. A belonging of hers that I've kept from college, and I need someone with me. Please, Chaeyoung. Do you think anyone else will even agree to do this? Please."

And it was the desperation in her best friends voice, the pain that made Chaeyoung agree. No, she wasn't questioning or judging Jennie's reasoning, she didn't care. All that mattered was that Jennie needed her to do this, for moral support or something alluding to that, and Chaeyoung was going to be there for her. That's what friends were for, fuck the favour. 

"Okay."

Jennie's face visibly relaxed. She smiled widely, gratitude towards her friend overflowing by the gallon. "Thank you. I promise i'll explain everything later, but what I do know is that this club is opening in a couple hours and I want to get there as soon as possible."

In the back of her mind, far, far back where all of her most embarrassing and hidden thoughts and secrets were, Chaeyoung wondered if Lisa would be there again, if they would encounter one another for the second time. 

And in that same section of her mind, Chaeyoung  _wanted to_. 

 

 

 

 


	4. The return

The second time Chaeyoung ended up at a gay club, it was intentional.

Her and Jennie travelled all the way from their work building to Jennie's home (she had to collect her friend's 'belonging') to the murky streets of downtown Seoul, Jennie rambling about nothing in particular and Chaeyoung wondering what on earth she had gotten herself into. 

"Are you ready to explain what happened?" Chaeyoung had asked, interrupting Jennie's story about nails. Jennie sighed as if she knew this was coming sooner or later. She smiled sadly and lightly shook her head.

"In all honesty, no. I don't really know what I'm doing here. This is me being impulsive, and maybe it's all a mistake but I feel like I won't ever get real closure until I do this."

"And what is ' _this'_ exactly? Why would you need closure when she's just an old college friend? I mean, it's not as if she died!" Chaeyoung blurted out. But, Jennie was used to Chaeyoung's (occasional, usually she was a sweetheart) blunt honesty, and so she simply shrugged, taking no offence to the mean tone.

"You're right. And we're here." Jennie swerved the question as they came to a halt outside the familiar bar, which looked as if it was closed. The doors were shut, and faint music could be heard from outside but it was faint and not loud enough to accommodate a group of party-goers. Chaeyoung checked her phone for the time. It was coming up to six thirty. She was pretty sure the bar opened soon. Jennie, on the other hand, walked to the door adjacent to the club, the door that probably lead to the apartment above the place. 

"It's closed Jennie. We should come back another time." Chaeyoung said, glancing around the street warily. There weren't a lot of people around but each time one so much as looked in her vague direction she felt as if they were judging her. After all, they were standing outside one of the only gay club in Seoul. Chaeyoung felt as if her paranoia was justified. 

Jennie ignored Chaeyoung and knocked on the door of the apartment. Her face was stern, determined. The club being closed wasn't going to stop her from doing what she wanted.

"Food's here!" Came a distant unfamiliar voice. At least, it was unfamiliar to Chaeyoung. Jennie however, froze on the spot, her hand still holding the form of a knuckle on the door. Chaeyoung had never seen her friend look so stifled, so  _nervous._ She wished she knew what was wrong, what this was all about so that she could comfort her, do something. she almost felt helpless.

There was the sound of something, like a lock being shuffled, before the door swung open. 

A girl stood shocked in the doorway. She was gorgeous, with dark ebony hair and gentle facial features, eyes that looked almost too warm and kind, and pink lips that were parted in surprise. She was wearing a onesie, which just made her look even more adorable. 

Jennie couldn't speak even if she wanted to. She just kept looking at this woman, looking at her. It was silent as the pair stared at each other, the tension palpable. Chaeyoung awkwardly fidgeted with her hands, not knowing whether to speak or just keep quiet. She was beginning to suspect that whatever the history really was between these two women, it went far deeper than a broken friendship. Far, far deeper.

"Jennie? Jennie Kim?" There was a softness in the woman's voice as she said Jennie's name, and Chaeyoung swore she could literally  _see_ her friend melt. 

"Hi." Jennie, the confident, outgoing, smart and fearless woman said in a tone so full of nerves and apprehension that Chaeyoung was wondering if it came from her own mouth. 

"What are you doing here?" The woman glanced at Chaeyoung and offered her a friendly smile. Chaeyoung smiled back politely. 

"Uh..." Jennie mumbled, suddenly closing her eyes tightly and breathing out. "Sorry, I don't know. I'm just going to go." 

She turned around and grabbed Chaeyoung's arm, ready to storm off. 

"No wait! Come in. I didn't mean to sound harsh, I'm just surprised." The woman called out desperately. 

Jennie still seemed unsure, but Chaeyoung knew that her friend needed to get whatever she needed to do done, so she finally stepped in.   
  
"We'll be happy too. I'm Chaeyoung, Jennie's friend." She yanked Jennie back to the front door. The woman kept her eyes on Jennie, sadness now occupying her face.

"I'm Jisoo. Please, follow me."

 

* * *

 

Jisoo led Jennie and Chaeyoung through a small hallway and into a club. But, the club itself was empty. And clean. It looked so large when unoccupied and with the lights on. Chaeyoung could finally see the patterns on the walls, the rainbow coloured dance floor, the neon coloured bar and the chairs and tables that were neatly packed away in the corners of the place. They followed her into a back room, where the music was playing from. Jisoo sighed. 

"My friend is over. We don't open the club on Thursdays, so usually its pizza and movie evening." She gave a lopsided smile, but Chaeyoung felt like she was mainly speaking to Jennie. 

As they entered the rather large backroom, Chaeyoung saw the Netflix main screen on the large television, and a person was operating it, scrolling down the 'kids' movies. As she looked at the said operator, bright red hair filled her vision and she realised with an abrupt annoyance that this was _Lisa_. She felt a foreign twist that seemed to come from the depths of her stomach, whether it was from irritation or anticipation, Chaeyoung didn't know. She assumed it was irritation. Lisa looked  _good._ Even from her seated position she could see the simple white shirt that Lisa was donning, the shirt so tight that it hugged her in all the right places, accentuating her... Chaeyoung shook her head of this thought. It didn't help that Lisa was wearing the most sexy pair of glasses known to man, rounded and perfect for her face. She was staring, and she didn't care. 

"Unnie I think I'll die if I don't eat something. Please tell me it--" Lisa stopped talking when she finally drew her eyes from the television screen and saw that it wasn't just Jisoo with food standing there, but It was Jisoo with two other girls, one of which was  _Chaeyoung._ Chaeyoung regretted coming here, she regretted everything because as soon as those now familiar brown eyes met hers she felt a defence fall down, and more confusion flood her mind like an emotional tsunami. It was as if Lisa had a superpower, and her superpower was to make chaeyoung uncomfortable simply by  _looking_ at her. It worked, everytime. And everytime Chaeyoung wondered if it was discomfort she was feeling or something else, something more questionable. She tried not to delve too deeply into that.

And then, Lisa grinned and took off her glasses. Like a goddamn person who had won the lottery.

"Lisa, this is Jennie, and her" Jisoo paused and looked from Jennie to Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung was pretty much hidden behind Jennie. "Friend Chae--"

"Chaeyoung. Yes, we have met." Lisa interrupted quickly, causing Chaeyoung to roll her eyes. She didn't really have to let Jisoo know that. Jennie perked an eyebrow at Chaeyoung realising that this was the person that she had been referring to earlier that day. Amusement rose in her face but chaeyoung pretended she couldn't see her.

Jisoo had the same expression as Jennie, but instead she was smirking at Lisa. "Ah, I see. Are you friends?"

"No!" They said in unison, Chaeyoung sounding more defiant than Lisa. 

Then, as if saved by the bell, it rang. Jisoo sighed. "That must be the food. Um, Jennie do you mind helping me?" 

Jennie looked very, very apprehensive, and Chaeyoung thought she was going to deny Jisoo's request. But, alas, she nodded silently and followed Jisoo out of the door, leaving them alone in the room. As soon as they left Chaeyoung felt that irritating twist of her stomach again. Now, it was because all of Lisa's attention was focused solely on her.

"Well well well. Hello stranger, do you--." Lisa smugly began, and Chaeyoung glared at her fiercely. 

"I'm here for my friend. She knows Jisoo. That's all, so save the annoying patronising!" 

Lisa rose her eyebrows. "Whoa, I was just going to ask if you like Disney movies. I personally love Tangled." 

"What are you, five?" Chaeyoung hissed, but deep down her mind was screeching because Disney movies were her absolute favourite, and she knew the lyrics to almost every notorious song. But she couldn't let Lisa know that they... they had something in  _common._ She'd probably never hear the end of it. 

Lisa, in her usual fashion, laughed. Chaeyoung was sure nothing could perturb this girl. 

"You're right. Only immature idiots watch Disney movies."  

"That's not true!" Chaeyoung whined without thinking. Lisa just shook her head and turned back to the television screen.

"I knew you liked Disney movies. You're just afraid to admit that we have something in common." 

  
_How the hell did she know that? Am I that obvious? Or is she just good at reading people?_ Chaeyoung didn't even bother to protest this fact. She just sighed and flopped onto the same couch that Lisa was occupying. Lisa made a sound at the quite sudden movement.  

"So Jisoo owns this place huh?" Chaeyoung asked, because she wanted to know more about Jennie's mysterious 'old friend'. 

Lisa nodded. "Yup. She's honestly amazing. I mean, this is a  _gay club_ in Seoul. And she's so young. She's been through a lot to get this place running to the standard it is today. That's why I'm so cool with helping out. I look up to her." Lisa confessed. 

Chaeyoung smiled, that was admittedly sweet. Lisa looked up to Jisoo in perhaps the same way that she looked up to Jennie. She even had a newfound respect for Jisoo. And guilt. Just a day prior she was almost sick at the thought of being caught in her club, but she didn't consider the hardships it must've taken for the club to even be founded. She felt like an idiot. 

"That's admirable."  

"It is." 

Chaeyoung turned to Lisa and narrowed her eyes. "You still haven't told me what you do for a living. You don't sell drugs do you? Or run like an assassin business?" 

Lisa shook her head and frantically waved her hands to stop Chaeyoung from talking. "What? No! Drugs? Assassins? Is that really what you think of me?" 

"Yeah pretty much." Chaeyoung lied, trying hard not to smile. 

Lisa rolled her eyes. Chaeyoung loved it when she got a negative reaction out of the redhead, it was ever so rare. "Well you're wrong. I don't dabble in illegal activity for one." She said, irritated. A frown had placed itself on her pretty little face, and Chaeyoung was revelling in it.

"Whatever you say. From what I've heard you clearly have a..." Chaeyoung stopped to think about her next words. "A reputation here with the ladies. Doesn't really set the best first impression." She was of course referencing the night prior when she had been referred to as 'one of Lisa's'. Either Lisa had a lot of female friends, or she had a lot of female... _friends_. Either way she was intrigued and wanted to discover more about this apparent rep that the redhead upheld. Lisa's frown disappeared in a millisecond and was replaced with a devilish smirk, one that was making Chaeyoung regret saying anything. This was far different from her smug grins. It was flaunting, discreet but obvious, directed at Chaeyoung in an almost evil manner. Brown eyes had turned serious, steady as they locked gazes.

Yes, Chaeyoung  _definitely_ regretted saying anything.

"You really shouldn't believe everything you hear." 

"So it's a lie?"

"I didn't say that." 

Chaeyoung opened her mouth to speak but then clamped it shut, having no idea what to say next. She was taken aback, maybe it was because Lisa's entire demeanour had shifted into a subtle seriousness, like a dark cloud had suddenly drifted over her. But, the dark cloud wasn't anger, it was... It was something else. Maybe it was because unlike all the other times when Lisa had maintained steady eye contact, on this occasion there was a glint that she'd never seen before. Maybe it was because she had become aware of the small distance in which they were seated from one another, so close that Chaeyoung could see Lisa's chest heave up and down ever so slightly as she breathed. Maybe it was because for the first time in her twenty three years of existence Chaeyoung's mind was travelling into the depths of the unspeakable, because she took one glance at the curvaceous and plump pink lips that lay on her counterpart and almost, almost wondered what it would feel like to touch them.

But then, Lisa abruptly turned away from Chaeyoung and sighed, as if nothing happened. The brief moment of darkness had lifted and Lisa appeared to be back to herself. "I'm surprised you're suddenly so open to talking about my reputation for fucking girls. I thought you threw up at the mere thought of that kind of thing. Guess I was wrong." She shrugged.

Chaeyoung had flinched at Lisa's crude language, but she knew that the redhead was half correct. Truth be told, she had no freaking idea what had changed in such a short space of time, why she was sitting in the backroom of a gay club that she vowed never to enter again, with a lesbian who was making her feel funny. She had no. freaking. idea.

"I told you I'm not homophobic." Was all that Chaeyoung could say.

Lisa side eyed her and then laughed lowly. "In that case, whatever reputation you think I have, it's true. I have a lot of sex with a lot of women. I don't believe in relationships or love, but they never seem to understand that. I mean, even the thought of being with one person for the rest of my life repulses me. Monogamy is for dummies." She said nonchalantly, adding a little shrug at the end. 

Chaeyoung frowned. "That's a very strong opinion to have."

Lisa scoffed silently. "Let me guess, you're the type of girl to eventually get married to your childhood sweetheart, have three kids and live in a picket fence house in a culd-e -sac that is five minutes away from the church that you attend every Sunday with the family." 

Chaeyoung was half offended at that assumption. Not because it was wrong (Even though it was), but because the way Lisa said it was as if it was a bad thing. She was now almost worried about the way she presented herself, did she really seem like this to other people? Little did Lisa know, Chaeyoung also didn't feel attached to the idea of a relationship. 

"You say that like its a bad thing."

Lisa pulled a face. "It's not." 

"You shouldn't make assumptions about my character. I haven't been in a relationship before. I haven't found the right one yet." She defended, feeling like she just had to clarify that she was still single and not with a 'childhood sweetheart'.  _Childhood sweetheart? What even gave her that impression?_ Her mind speculated.

"Oh I'm sure you'll find the right guy for you. Maybe if you're lucky he'll even read the bible to you before bed." Lisa said bitterly, her face scrunched up as she pretended to be watching the television.

Now Chaeyoung was annoyed. She didn't even want to ask how Lisa knew that her family were devout christians. "What's your problem? You sound very judgmental right now. It's funny, cause I would expect you to be less judgmental."

Lisa scoffed loudly. "Why? Because I'm gay? Perfect logic there Chaeyoung."

Chaeyoung threw her arms up in frustration. Lisa was pissing her off, she didn't even know why she was acting so weird all of a sudden. "It's a good thing you don't do relationships because you are infuriating!" 

Lisa was finally offended. "I'm infuriating? That's rich coming from you." She argued back angrily. 

"What's that supposed to mean eh?" 

"It means what you think it means."

"That makes no fucking sense Lisa!"

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"Oooh, good comeback." Chaeyoung sarcastically replied. 

Lisa, in a show of anger, made a noise that sounded like a growl and rose to her feet, glaring down at Chaeyoung. "I don't want to argue with you okay? I just want food!” 

Chaeyoung stood up also. “Well I just want to go home! You think I wanted to come here and encounter you again? No, I didn’t!” 

Lisa looked hurt for a split second but she regained her composure and simply frowned. “It’s a good thing we won’t be seeing each other after today then.” She said quietly. 

Chaeyoung felt guilty but she didn’t know why. She was sick and tired of feeling unsure around Lisa, and so simply huffed: “Yeah it is. Goodbye.” And stormed out of the back room, through the doors and back into the empty club...

And right into Jennie.

”Ah shit!” Jennie cursed, rubbing her temple roughly, trying to physically ease the pain. They had smashed into each other head first, leaving both of them crumpled. Chaeyoung wanted to cry at this point, not only was she leaving with a mental headache she was leaving with a physical one too. 

“Ouch! Did you not see me walk out?” Chaeyoung groaned, clutching her forehead.

“Yeah Chaeyoung, I saw you walk out and deliberately headbutted you.” Came her friend's sarcastic reply. 

It was then that Chaeyoung noticed that something wasn't right. After the pain had subsided she took a closer look at Jennie, and immediately she saw the dejected look on her face. She was upset, visibly upset, and Jisoo was nowhere to be seen. Jennie's eyes were even beginning to water, like tears threatening to fall. Chaeyoung knew that it wasn't just because of the impact.

Something happened. 

"Do you want to leave now?" Chaeyoung softly suggested, and when Jennie nodded silently she gently led her friend out of the door they came from. Not once did they see Jisoo, or Lisa for that matter, and Chaeyoung knew that this was a bad idea from the start. 

Throughout the entire car journey home, Jennie sobbed, quiet as a mouse, but loud enough for Chaeyoung to hear. 

And she heard. Loud and clear. 

 

 


	5. Again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos. It truly motivates me to write more! Enjoy!

"So you're just going to not talk to me about what happened yesterday." Chaeyoung queried. It was Friday, and both her and Jennie were on their lunch break, eating in silence. Jennie had rushed out of the car before she could even discuss her mood last night, leaving Chaeyoung absolutely perplexed. It didn't help that her argument with Lisa was still bothering the shit out of her. 

Jennie shrugged and shoved a piece of her lunch in her mouth, chewing obstinately. "Are you going to talk about why you and Lisa were practically having eye sex?" Chaeyoung's jaw dropped, causing Jennie to hum dryly. "Yeah, I thought not." 

"What are you talking about? Jennie, do I need to remind you that you dragged me along to a  _gay_ club, a gay club that your friend owns? Don't you think I deserve some sort of explanation?" She exasperated. Honestly, Chseyoung never really knew what was going on half the time, but the mass confusion that had been circulating in her mind the past few days was  _too_ much. She was questioning everything that she thought she knew, that she thought she believed in. She needed answers, desperately, and not just from Jennie, from herself. But the fact that Jennie was withholding information from her that she promised she would reveal was starting to annoy her. Why was everyone so damn confusing? 

Jennie rubbed her temples. She'd been doing that a lot today. Then, she breathed out long and deep and turned to her friend. "I just don't want you to be disgusted with me." 

Chaeyoung shook her head firmly. "You're my best friend okay? No matter what I'm in your corner." 

Jennie laughed bitterly. "Jisoo isn't just... She's not just my old friend," Chaeyoung's suspicions had been confirmed, and she immediately braced herself for the confession that she had been expecting since she had seen Jennie look so disgruntled in Jisoo's presence. "We used to be together. Romantically. Jisoo is my ex."

_BINGO!_

Chaeyoung internalised these words, although she wasn't surprised she still needed time to process it all. And once it was processed, once Jennie's words registered in her brain, she realised that she just _didn't care_. She didn't see Jennie any different for having dated a girl, she didn't feel sick or grossed out or uneasy. She just didn't care. But, she did care about what on earth went down between the two of them, why Jennie had been so off. 

"Why did you two break up?" Chaeyoung went on to ask. Jennie however, was staring at her quizzically.

"That's it? You're not going to ask me why I never told you that I'm gay? You're not going to tell me it's wrong, or look grossed out?" 

Chaeyoung laughed. "No! Chill out, I don't care about your sexual orientation, you're still my Jennie. Nothing has changed."

Jennie gave Chaeyoung a smile of gratitude and then nodded. "Well, it's kinda a long story..."

"It's okay. I have time."

"Actually, you don't. Our lunch break finishes in fifteen minutes."

"Jennie."

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes whilst Jennie chuckled.

"Well, we both went to Seoul university. Her friends were friends with my friends, which is how we met... the same old same old you know? Anyway, of course there weren't an abundance of gay people at university, and they sure weren't vocal about it. But Jisoo was. That was what attracted me to her. She just didn't _care_ about what other people thought. At the time, I was in the closet. I was dating this asshole just for the sake of it, he was part of the 'in' crowd and I needed validation from popularity. The guy I was dating said something homophobic about Jisoo, and I just remember being  _so_ angry with him for that, so angry that I dumped him. When it came to Jisoo, even when she was merely a friend, I didn't tolerate anything. Now, obviously, I realise that it was because I loved her, and I couldn't bare the thought of anyone saying something to hurt her. Back then, I didn't know that. Jisoo found out why I dumped him and she invited me out for drinks. After that we just started getting closer, and my feelings finally surfaced. Then I kissed her. I didn't expect her to feel the same way as me but she did, and that started our secret relationship. It lasted for  _two_ years Chaeyoung.  _Two. Y_ _ears._ I was in love. It was beautiful. Then I fucked it all up. I got too scared, too worried. People on campus were whispering, rumours were circulating. I dumped her, and pretended she never existed until I graduated. Three years later here I am, single and alone. I fucked it all up..." 

"She gave me this necklace. It was cheap and not made of real silver, but she told me to keep it forever and I promised her I would. When you mentioned that you visited her club everything came flooding back. I knew that I had to find some sense of closure, I can't live the rest of my life avoiding intimacy because I'm caught up in a college relationship. But it was a mistake. As soon as I saw her I knew id never find closure, not really. Well guess what? She's found closure. She told me she has a girlfriend now, some bitch called Nayeon. And I'm still undoubtedly in love with her."

Chaeyoung listened intently. Finally, she understood what was going on in Jennie's life, she felt like she'd just unravelled a key part of her best friend that she'd never found before. This was why Jennie had so many male friends but never a boyfriend, this was why Jennie was so intent on getting chaeyoung a boyfriend but was never truly interested in getting her own. Everything made sense now. Jennie was in love, with a woman. 

"That's... Jennie I don't know what to say..."

"I know, it's a lot. You should've seen her face yesterday, Chaeyoung. She  _pitied_ me. I was the one who fucked up and she looked like she felt sorry for  _me_." Jennie's head was in her hands as she spoke, prompting Chaeyoung to rub her friend's back comfortingly. She wasn't used to this, to comforting a friend with a broken heart, and part of her had no clue what to do. But, she did know that Jennie needed someone there for her, even if it was in silence. 

When it was finally time for them to head back inside, Jennie's grateful smile let Chaeyoung know that she'd done enough. 

* * *

 

And then she got a phone call. 

It was coming up to nine, and she'd just finished her shower and was about to begin her lengthly skincare routine when it rang. 

Sighing, Chaeyoung picked up the phone and checked the caller ID. It was Jennie. 

Jennie calling Chaeyoung at this time wasn't abnormal, after work they usually spent the entire evening talking to each other on the phone about trivial bullshit. Thus, Chaeyoung wasn't startled nor surprised. She pressed the little green button immediately.

"Yo." She greeted. It was her and Jennie's little thing. 

Instead of Jennie's reply, Chaeyoung heard booming music and a cacophony of other peculiar noises. She frowned, assuming that Jennie was watching the television and it was simply on a high volume.

"Hello?" She tried again.

A muffling could be heard. "Want to party? Party in this club Roseanne come and turn it up! Ha, that rhymed." Came a voice that Chaeyoung could barely tell belonged to Jennie's. It was slurred and mildly incoherent, and Chaeyoung had been to enough work parties with Jennie to know that she was drunk. Suddenly the loud music and voices made sense, Jennie was in a club. 

Chaeyoung pinched the bridge of her nose. "Jennie where are you? Who are you with?" She questioned, already starting to pick up her clothes and put them on. She knew how wild Jennie got when she was drunk, and she needed to ensure that her friend was... being taken care of. She didn't want a creepy guy to try and take advantage of her. 

She got a high pitched laugh as a response. "I'm in a club of some sort... Think it belongs to my EX. Yup, I'm certain it belongs to my ex." 

Chaeyoung cursed in both English and Korean, hurriedly throwing on her shoes. Jennie was going to regret this astronomically bad decision in the morning, and Chaeyoung had to get there before she did anything else incredibly stupid. "Jennie! Jennie, oh my God. I'm coming to pick you up. Do not move, and do not speak to anybody." She ordered, searching frantically for her keys. 

"Mmkay! Challenge accepted!" Jennie screeched, before hanging up. Chaeyoung let out another series of curse words, rushing out the door to her car. She just hoped Jennie hadn't thrown up yet. That would just put the cherry on top of this crappy situation.

Chaeyoung drove at intense speeds to reach the club. Her mind consumed with making sure Jennie was safe, she ran up to the entrance, showing the man at the door her ID before entering. She was barely thinking about the implications, she was barely thinking about the fact that  _yet again_ she was in the god forsaken place, she just needed to make sure Jennie was ok. It hadn't occurred to her that Jisoo had _this_ much of an affect on her. That was the reason she was guessing that Jennie was here drowning her sorrows in alcohol. Because of Jisoo. Speaking of Jisoo, had she seen Jennie in this state yet? Was she even here? Chaeyoung didn't know. The club was too packed and she was finding it next to impossible to spot her brunette friend. Her eyes scoured the club desperately for a good five minutes before finally finding Jennie by the bar, perched on the stool gulping down a drink like it was water. 

Chaeyoung stormed over to Jennie, snatching the drink out of her hand and slamming it on the counter. Jennie turned around, acting overly shocked. She was  _so_ drunk. Her glazed and hooded eyes and sloppy grin just made Chaeyoung even angrier.

" _What are you doing_?" Chaeyoung yelled in English. She slipped into the language sometimes without realising it. Jennie just laughed like a drunken fool. She tried to embrace Chaeyoung. 

"Hello hello my friend!" She greeted. Her voice sounded like someone had taken away her ability to speak proper Korean. Her movements were sloppy and uncoordinated, causing Chaeyoung to grimace. She pulled away from the hug and tutted.

"Jennie-- why are you here?" She asked sternly. 

Jennie frowned and pouted, which would have been adorable in any other circumstance. "Why are you mad at me?" She slurred. 

"Because you're acting irresponsibly! You're here because you're hurt that Jisoo has moved on, and you're going to regret it in the morning." She deadpanned, and even in her drunk state Jennie looked hurt.

Chaeyoung sighed. "Why don't we just take you home?" She took on a more gentle tone, despite being irritated at her friend she could sympathise with her situation. Jennie was emotional, even if she didn't want to admit it. She was emotional and sensitive. She probably thought impulsively and decided that she could drink the pain away. Jennie, who just a minute ago was overflowing with energy, was now silent. She just nodded and tried to lift her weight off the stool. However, being as drunk as she was, it was difficult. She barely moved an inch before she almost crashed to the ground. Chaeyoung caught her just in time. 

"Jennie  _how much_ did you have to drink?" 

Jennie shrugged. "Tons."

With Jennie's arm thrown over Chaeyoung's shoulder for support and Chaeyoung's arm around Jennie's waist, the duo managed to shuffle quite a bit towards the exit. That is, until, Jennie suddenly collapsed. Straight up collapsed. She slumped and fell the the ground, mumbling profanities under her breath in a slurred, drunken mess. Chaeyoung let out a growl of annoyance, scanning the club to see if she could find help. Everyone was minding their own business, dancing and chatting. Then, inadvertently, Chaeyoung's eyes flew up to the VIP section.

Sure enough, there was Lisa. Donning a crop top that showed off her toned flat stomach and a skirt that left little to the imagination. But... she wasn't alone. A girl sat with her on the same recliner that they had their first meeting, a pretty girl with a flirtatious smirk and a short red dress. They were whispering to each other, the girl's hand resting on Lisa's bare thigh. Lisa was straight-faced but still obviously into it, her hands also roaming the envious perfect body of her...friend. Chaeyoung should've looked away, she should've helped Jennie up instantly and kept on moving, but she couldn't. She felt like someone was turning her intestines around in her stomach, and it wasn't a nice feeling at all. She shouldn't have been surprised really, Lisa admitted her 'player' status but still... Did they have to touch up on each other in front of everyone? PDA repulsed Chaeyoung, in any form. Maybe that described this feeling. But then, as if Lisa had felt Chaeyoung's discomfort, her eyes flickered down to the scene below her, and their gazes locked. A number of emotions flashed through Lisa's face- A major one being confusion. She was confused, and it must have stifled her immensely, because she whispered one last thing to her hookup and rose to her feet. Chaeyoung panicked, breaking eye contact and quickly moving to help Jennie from the ground. She knew that her friend was okay, because she was reciting the alphabet in English with her eyes closed. She just needed to sleep. 

"Come on Jennie, work with me here." Chaeyoung hissed under her breath, attempting to lift Jennie's frail body around her shoulders. It worked, it worked well enough for Chaeyoung to make a quick enough dash out of the club before Lisa could do... whatever she was about to do. She felt like a mess, her heart was beating  _way_ too fast, her palms were sweating and she felt a little sick. It didn't help that Jennie was beginning to slump again, slowly and surely slipping out of Chaeyoung's grasp and back to the ground. They were out of the doors now, and Chaeyoung got deja vu to the first time Lisa and her met.

"Chaeyoung." 

Chaeyoung didn't stop this time. Even though she wanted to. She heaved Jennie back up and determinedly kept walking, as fast as their weight would allow. Which, clearly wasn't that fast, because Lisa caught up within two seconds. Chaeyoung glanced at Lisa, only to see the redhead regarding her with what looked like dissapointment. 

"What do you want Lisa?" She asked tiredly. Jennie was two seconds away from collapsing on the ground again, but Lisa intervened, wrapping her other arm around her own shoulders and supporting her weight. Now, Jennie was upright and it made Chaeyoung's life a heck of a lot easier. Well, not quite. She still felt queasy, and having Lisa this close wasn't doing anything to cure that feeling. She was self conscious, she hadn't had any time to put on makeup or dress accordingly, she probably looked homeless. And here Lisa was, leaving her smoking hot date to help her out. She couldn't help but feel... Inadequate. 

"I'll help you." Was all that Lisa said. Chaeyoung knew that she couldn't dispute this, that Lisa would find a way to help regardless of her own wishes. She wanted to say thank you, she really did, but instead what came out of her mouth was:

"I wouldn't want to keep you from having fun with your friend back there."

Lisa frowned at Chaeyoung, but Chaeyoung was focusing her attention on Jennie. She took a while to reply. 

"Look, about yesterday... I'm sorry. I was being a judgemental asshole." Lisa apologised. 

 _Was that an apology?_ Chaeyoung had to check that she heard correctly. She was expecting a snide comment back, maybe even Lisa to just grin in that way the always infuriated her, but not an apology. She sounded like she meant it, like she'd been wanting to apologise for ages. Chaeyoung was over the moon. 

"It's okay. I'm sorry too. The last few days have just been sort of... hectic-- ah here's my car." She unlocked the door and both her and Lisa helped to place Jennie (Who was now singing a lullaby) in the car safely. Chaeyoung gritted her teeth, knowing that she was going to have to somehow get Jennie up her apartment block. She didn't want to ask for help but she needed it. 

But, Lisa seemed to read her mind. "I can come and help you get Jennie back at her place if you'd like?" She suggested, and for the first time Chaeyoung didn't see the stubborn, persistent Lisa. Rather the opposite. Lisa looked... almost shy, arms behind her back and rocking on her feet like a child. Chaeyoung ignored the warning voices in her head and nodded. 

"I'd really appreciate that. Thank you." 

Lisa was relieved, and she went over to the passengers side, getting in the car.  _She's in my car now, god. She's really in my car._ Chaeyoung thought as she got into the drivers seat, trying not to think about Lisa's distinctive perfume that was filling the small space and making her feel woozy. Clumsily, she started the engine and begun the drive. 

"I'm going to take her back to my place." Chaeyoung said. Jennie's apartment was further away, and she also lived alone. In the morning when Jennie woke up with a hangover to kill all hangovers at least Chaeyoung would be there to nurse her back to health. (She also wanted to speak some sense into Jennie for her stupid actions). Lisa nodded.

"Good call." 

"Are you at that club every night?" Chaeyoung asked, glad to be driving because it meant that she didn't have to maintain eye contact with the redhead. She wasn't against the whole 'clubbing every waking second' life but she was rather curious. Lisa seemed to be there every time it was open, and she wondered whether it was just to help Jisoo out or whether it was to hook up with girls. Something told her that it was a little bit of both. 

"Most nights. I don't really like going home." Lisa responded, her voice sounding distant. 

"Why's that?"

"It feels empty there. But when I'm at the club, helping out Jisoo, being with my friends, I feel whole."

Chaeyoung snuck a glance at the redhead, seeing her staring out the window, hand cupping her chin. There was something so damn  _intriguing_ about Lisa, something abundant, that Chaeyoung couldn't quite put her finger on. "So in a way, the club is your home." 

Lisa nodded. "It is, I gue--"

"Rosé! Park Chaeyoung! My back hurts!" Jennie suddenly interrupted from the back. She was sprawled out on the three seats, her arm raised in the air. Chaeyoung smiled. Lisa chuckled.

"Rosé huh? Is that your middle name or something?" She queried. 

"Yeah, I grew up in Australia, and over there Roseanne was my English name. Jennie calls me _rosé_ sometimes for short." She explained. When she first moved to Korea, she remembered her peers being fascinated by her proficient English and her Australian accent. Now, hardly anyone noticed and she didn't care to explain. Lisa, however, seemed in awe of this fact. She was grinning ear to ear with wide, interested eyes. 

"Oh wow, so you can speak English?" She asked. 

Chaeyoung nodded, already knowing what was coming--

"Say something in English!" 

Usually chaeyoung would've denied this request, but seeing Lisa all excited and interested in such a mundane fact about her was making her smile. 

"Erm...  _I feel very confused right now_." She said in English, speaking honestly on her feelings at the time in confidence knowing that the redhead wouldn't understand. Lisa giggled and clapped her hands like a seal, causing a laugh to escape Chaeyoung's mouth. 

"You just said that you feel confused right?" Lisa relayed, and Chaeyoung swore her heart dropped. Of course Lisa knew English. With Chaeyoung's diabolical luck Lisa understood English. She had to laugh it off, seeing that Lisa was still chuckling and not digging deeply into what Chaeyoung had actually said. 

"Yeah! How'd you know?"

"I can speak and understand some English. For example," She turned to Chaeyoung and her grin lessened into a soft smile. " _You're very pretty._ " 

Chaeyoung felt her entire face heat up, and she was almost positive that she was blushing. She'd been complimented before by men, quite frequently actually, but when it came from Lisa it just sounded  _better_. It made her feel pretty, and all warm inside like a toaster oven. That was what Chaeyoung was comparing the warmth in her body to, a toaster oven. She simply smiled shyly, trying to pretend like she wasn't so affected by Lisa's harmless compliment. 

"I can... speak English too!" Jennie protested. " _You can stand under my umbrella Ella_ _Ella_." 

For once Chaeyoung was glad that Jennie's drunk self brought Lisa's attention away from her, it gave her time to compose herself. She took a deep breath in and out, trying to calm whatever it was that she was feeling. 

"That's a Rihanna song right?" Lisa giggled. 

Jennie nodded sloppily. "I'm better at... English than Rihanna I promise!" She slurred. 

And for the rest of the journey, Jennie entertained Lisa and Chaeyoung with her English skills, which mostly consisted of her saying lines from Rihanna's songs. Chaeyoung enjoyed it, especially the brief moments when Jennie would spout out something ridiculous and her and Lisa would exchange an amused glance. It was natural, normal. The only thing that wasn't natural _or_ normal was the loud beating of Chaeyoung's heart that she just couldn't seem to subdue. Once at the apartment, they both managed to get Jennie up the elevator and into Chaeyoung's bed, though it was quite a hassle to unlock the front door. As soon as Jennie's head hit the pillow she dozed off, and her loud snoring indicted that she had been needing this sleep for a while. Chaeyoung brushed her friend's hair out of her face with a sigh and then exited her bedroom, switching off her light and shutting the door. When she was back in the living room, she saw Lisa holding one of her family photos, examining it with an unreadable expression. 

"That's my mom and my dad." Chaeyoung said, and Lisa hummed. 

"I can see the resemblance. Are you close with them?" She asked, fixated on the photo. 

Chaeyoung smiled and nodded. Family was probably one of the most important things to her. "Definitely. I owe them everything." 

Lisa smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "You really do seem like a nice person. Taking care of Jennie, the way you talk about your family. You remind me of Jisoo." 

Though touched, Chaeyoung just couldn't agree. "I don't know about that... Jisoo has done so much with her life. I'm just a typical girl." She humbly denied. 

Lisa shook her head and turned to Chaeyoung, brown eyes steely and firm. "You're far from typical. That much I know for sure."  

Chaeyoung, not knowing what to say to this statement, simply smiled at the ground. She noticed that Lisa was still examining her family photo. "How about you? Are you close with your parents?" 

It was then that Lisa placed the photo back on its stand and fell silent, drifting over to Chaeyoung's couch that faced wide windows. It was Chaeyoung's favourite spot in her tiny apartment, because it gave a stellar view of Seoul. At night, when the buildings were lit up in bright lights against the dark sky, it was even more picturesque. Chaeyoung spent a lot of her time sat there, just watching the city exist. Lisa appeared to be doing the same thing now, although she seemed more melancholy. 

"Not really." She said quietly. 

Chaeyoung approached Lisa and sat beside her on the couch. From her curt response, she knew that perhaps Lisa wasn't close with her family. She couldn't imagine not being close with her parents, and it pained her to see Lisa so dejected. "Wanna talk about it?" She asked, her tone gentle.

Lisa just shook her head, her eyes fixated on the view outside. 

Chaeyoung didn't know what compelled her, what consumed her at the moment in time, but she just wanted to comfort Lisa. She rested her head on Lisa's shoulder. It was a sentimentally comforting gesture, and by the way Lisa stiffened she could tell that she was startled to say the least. The redhead ripped her eyes away from the window and turned sideways to look at chaeyoung. 

"We don't have to talk. We can just sit here." Chaeyoung said softly. 

And they spent the rest of the evening sitting in silence, both girls reflecting on their lives.

They watched the bustling city exist, together.

That is, until, Chaeyoung felt herself being enraptured in the arms of sleep, and she quietly dozed off on Lisa's shoulder. 

That night, she dreamt of red. 

 

 


	6. The morning after

Chaeyoung woke up to the sound of screaming. 

She groggily rose from her position on the couch, rubbing her shoulders as she came to. Turning to her left, she saw that she space once occupied by Lisa was now empty, in its place a note. Chaeyoung sighed and rubbed her forehead. She didn't intend to fall asleep on Lisa's shoulder, and she was hoping that Lisa hadn't completely freaked out and left her in the middle of the night, but, that appeared to be the case. She didn't even get to say a proper thank you to her for helping bring Jennie safely into the apartment. 

Speaking of- Jennie was still screaming. Chaeyoung wanted to read the note, but she knew her duty as a friend obliged her to take care of the hungover Jennie first. She grabbed a cold bottle of water from the fridge and some painkillers before opening the door to her bedroom. Jennie was clutching her head and groaning, the screaming had stopped but she was clearly in pain. Chaeyoung wasn't surprised. The girl had drunken most of the earths content in alcohol yesterday. 

"Good morning Jennie." Chaeyoung sighed, placing the water and painkillers on the bed and the heading over to the bathroom to get ready for the day. It wasn't that she was angry at Jennie, even though well, she was a little. It was inconvenient to have to baby a twenty-four year old but at the same time Jennie's safety was one of her main priorities. Plus, she knew that Jennie was suffering from a MAJOR heartbreak, something that didn't make much sense to Chaeyoung because she had never experienced anything of the sort. Still, she was slightly annoyed and wanted Jennie to know it. 

As she showered, she thought of last night's events. She was beginning to feel her gratitude towards Lisa grow the more she thought about the fact that the redhead had left her female friend solely to pursue Chaeyoung and Jennie and help her out. It was such a kind, wholesome action that Chaeyoung found herself literally  _grinning_ at the thought of it. She brushed her teeth and moved back into the bedroom with a towel, where Jennie was still rubbing her temples.

"Hot body." Jennie croaked. Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. Jennie sat up and glanced wearily around the room.

"This is going to sound really bad but um... Why am I in your bed?" 

Chaeyoung couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped from her lips. Of  _course_ Jennie remembered nothing. 

"You were at Jisoo's club, and you drunk-called me so I had to get out of my apartment at 10 pm at night and collect you. Lisa and I brought you here."

Jennie winced and ran a hand through her hair. "Fuck."

"Indeed."

"I remember going into the club. I wanted to apologise to Jisoo for leaving so abruptly that day we visited hers but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I remember having one drink and then just not stopping. God, I'm an idiot. I'm so sorry that you had to be dragged into this." Then Jennie pouted and gave Chaeyoung the cutest look known to man, it reminded her of puss in boots. "Forgive me?" 

Chaeyoung knew that she could never really stay mad at her best friend, and so she just rolled her eyes. "Fine. But Jennie, I've never seen you like this before, i’m worried." She pouted. Chaeyoung wanted Jennie to get over Jisoo and move on with her life, she wasn't used to her friend being so... soft. It was slightly scaring her. She wanted the old Jennie back. 

Jennie sighed but didn't say anything. 

"I'm going to make myself breakfast. You can use the bathroom, you know where everything is." Chaeyoung stated, leaving the bedroom and heading back into the living room. She grabbed the note that Lisa had left and held it close to her, her heart pounding. She was scared, or rather _nervous_ to read the note, it was probably nothing, but still. She had no idea what to expect. 

"Get ahold of yourself Chaeyoung." She tutted, annoyed at herself for her apprehension. Flippantly, she opened the note and read it. 

_**Didn't want to wake you, you look so peaceful when you sleep.** _

_**Here's my number. Call me when you're awake.** _

_**Lisa.** _

Written just below Lisa's name was her phone number, along with an adorable little heart next to it. Chaeyoung held the note for at least another five minutes, re-reading the brief words over and over again.  _She thinks I look peaceful when I sleep... What does that little heart even mean?... Should I call her now? She said to call when I'm awake and I'm awake now, or maybe I should wait  little so that she doesn't think I'm being too eager... Wait why do I care? Why am I obsessing over this? Just call her goddamit!_

With that, Chaeyoung grabbed her phone and dialled the number with fast fingers, allowing no more time for overthought. Lisa picked up on the first ring. 

"Heyo!" She greeted in a cute voice. Chaeyoung clutched the phone tight, clearing her throat before speaking. 

"Hey, Lisa. This is Chaeyoung." Much to her embarrassment, Chaeyoung's voice cracked when she said her name, and she closed her eyes as she felt her face burn. 

There was silence on the other line for a second that felt like a lifetime.

"Oh! Chaeyoung! You read my note. I was kind of expecting you to throw it in the trash." She joked, but Chaeyoung knew there was some truth to it. She laughed shakily. 

"I read your note. Jennie's doing well... She's taken her painkillers and everything."

Lisa chuckled. "Oh, awesome. And you? How are you?"

Chaeyoung nodded even though Lisa couldn't see her. "I'm fine. I..." She searched for the right wording and took a shaky breath in. "I wanted to say thank you. For last night. Helping me--I mean Jennie and I out. You honestly didn't have to." 

She didn't have to see Lisa to know that the redhead was grinning. "But I did. And I'd do it again in a millisecond. Especially if it meant that I got to hear your cute snoring again at the end of it." 

Chaeyoung almost coughed on her own saliva. Lisa's words were striking this chord inside of her that was making her whole body warm.  _God what is wrong with me?_ She thought in desperation. Her face was now the colour of a tomato. 

"I... um..." Chaeyoung stammered.

"I called a cab home yesterday, if you were wondering." It was like Lisa knew how Chaeyoung was feeling, and she changed the topic to spare her from confusion. Too late. 

"Oh good. Do you mind not mentioning the whole Jennie situation to Jisoo?" She was certain that Jennie didn't want Jisoo finding out about her shenanigans the night prior, and she also wanted to save her bestfriend the embarrassment.

Lisa drew in a sharp intake of breath. "Oh... she already knows. Jennie spent half an hour spilling her life story to our bartender, and he kinda told Jisoo everything..." She awkwardly revealed, causing Chaeyoung to face palm.  _Oh_ _Jennie._

"What happened to customer confidentiality?" She groaned. What kind of bartender does that sort of thing?

Lisa laughed. "That doesn't apply to gay bartenders who love to gossip." 

"I hope Jisoo is understanding." Chaeyoung sighed. This was such an awkward situation that she felt sorry for her friend, like second hand embarrassment. 

"Oh she is. She wants to talk to Jennie, when she's ready of course."

"I can arrange that."

"So, Chaeyoung, we're talking on the phone right now. Are these the early signs of friendship arising?" Lisa half-joked.

Chaeyoung smiled. Granted, she never really felt this weird when she was initiating any other friendship with a girl, nor did she have dreams about them, but she was relatively understanding of the fact that her and Lisa were destined to have some form of friendship. They kept running into each other, after all. The idea of them being friends wasn't so unappealing, as much as Lisa sometimes irritated her. 

"Perhaps. Be honoured. My friendship is very rare." 

Lisa laughed. "I am honoured. Since we're becoming friends, I'm also obliged to invite you to a party I'm throwing at my place."

"What's the celebration?"

"Nothing, I just felt like throwing a party. Bring Jennie too-- Well, I mean, if she wants, Nayeon and jisoo will be there so..."

"Who said I'm coming?" Chaeyoung chuckled. A party? Thrown by Lisa? She could picture it now-- girls upon girls grinding all over each other, drunken fools parading around, loud music, basically a replica of Jisoo's club but more x-rated. Definitely not her scene. 

"It won't be like Jisoo's club." Lisa giggled, reading Chaeyoung's mind. "It's just a penthouse party."  

 _Penthouse party? Lisa lives in a penthouse?_ It didn't take a genius to know that penthouses in Seoul were  _disgustingly_ expensive, and Chaeyoung was truly baffled as to how Lisa could even afford, at her age, to live in one. The redhead's wealth was becoming more and more of a big mystery. "Penthouse huh?"

"Yeah! Please come, _pwetty please_?" Lisa said the last part in cute English, making Chaeyoung grin. How could she say no to that? 

"Fine. But I don't drink, so don't expect a repeat of Jennie. And I'm only dropping by to see what your place is like because I'm nosy. Understood?" 

Lisa squealed. "I wasn't expecting a yes! It's going to be fun I promise!" 

"I'll be the judge of that. Well, you have my number now, so you can text me the details. See you, Lisa." 

"Wait, Chaeyoung?" Lisa said, the excitement in her voice lessened into a lighter tone. 

"Mhm?" 

Chaeyoung counted five seconds of silence before Lisa spoke again.

"Thank you for uh... For comforting me yesterday. I'll never forget that. And I meant what I said in that note, you look so peaceful when you're asleep. Seeing you, like that, it made me forget about my own problems. So thank you, for that." She said gently. 

Chaeyoung's heart swelled.

She'd only ever felt her heart swell twice in her life, the first was when she watched  _Titanic_ for the very first time and she'd been emotionally connected to the characters of Jack and Rose, and the second was when she had heard her parents, tears in their eyes, say they were proud of her at her university graduation. She could only describe it as an intense, overwhelming feeling of content that was filling her with happiness, and sadness, and joy, and gratitude. And it was  _scaring_ her. Because Chaeyoung was used to feeling things, she was human after all. But she wasn't used to feeling things like this, this swelling in her chest and this tingling in her stomach that wasn't going away no matter how hard she tried. Because Chaeyoung didn't like this feeling of vulnerability, this raw exposure that was making her lost at her own self. She didn't like it at all. She didn't like that it was Lisa causing it. 

 "It's... It's fine. Goodbye." And she hung up. 

Throwing her phone onto her couch, Chaeyoung stalked back into the bedroom, feeling like she was in a daze. Was she herself? She sure didn't feel like it anymore. Jennie had showered and dressed in some of Chaeyoung's clothes and was sitting on the side of the bed scrolling through her phone solemnly. 

"Where's your breakfast?" She asked.

"Jisoo knows about yesterday." 

Jennie stopped scrolling through her phone and sighed. She didn't even look surprised. "I expected that would happen. Well, nothing can be done." 

Chaeyoung eyed her best friend. "Is this what love does to people? Why would anyone want to have feelings for another person?" She said, half to herself and half to Jennie. She didn't think I was worth it. 

Jennie smiled sadly. "Because when it's real, it's beautiful. That's all I can say." Jennie gathered her things. "My cab will be here in a couple minutes, I'm going to head home. Thanks again for accommodating me, I love you." She gave Chaeyoung a quick hug.

"Love you too, and it's okay."

Jennie left and Chaeyoung jumped onto to her bed, staring at the ceiling above. 

_When it's real, it's beautiful._

  

 


	7. Party pooper

Lisa was right, this was  _nothing_ like Jisoo's club.

That was all Chaeyoung could think a week later, as she pulled up to the front of Lisa's building. For starters, she was in what was arguably the most expense part of Seoul (Chaeyoung had done her research when Lisa texted her the address of the place). Surprisingly, Lisa had been texting Chaeyoung throughout the week. She was certainly taking the 'friendship' seriously, because she would text Chaeyoung during the most absurd of times, usually detailing something trivial that she was doing, like going to the convenience store. Chaeyoung didn't mind though. She had grown used to Lisa's good morning texts and whenever her phone vibrated she would unknowingly smile wide. 

"Lisa lives  _here_?" Jennie exclaimed beside her, eyes wide. It didn't take much for Chaeyoung to convince Jennie to accompany her to the party. In fact, Jennie immediately agreed, despite Chaeyoung's warning that Jisoo would most likely be there with her girlfriend. She was glad that her best friend was with her however, it meant she wouldn't be alone.

Chaeyoung nodded. The building had its own lounge, with a reception that was reminiscent of the ones found in five star hotels. They warily approached the front desk, Jennie looking around like she was on another planet. 

"Are you here for Miss Lisa?" The receptionist asked politely. 

"Yes, we are." 

"What are your names please? I've been informed to let up her guests." 

Chaeyoung and Jennie gave their names to the receptionist, who nodded and picked up the phone laid neatly on her desk. "Hello, yes, two more guests have arrived. Park Chaeyoung and Jennie Kim. Oh okay, she requested this herself? Yes, mhm, okay, I'll be sending them up now." She hung up and smiled. "If you could both head on up on that elevator. It's the last floor. Lisa has said that she will be there to personally greet you. You must be close to her, you're the first ones that she's wanted to greet at the door, throughout the night her butler has been doing that job." The receptionist said warmly, and Jennie discreetly poked Chaeyoung in her side, which was a clear " _What the fuck is_ _going on?"_. 

 _Trust me Jennie I have no idea either_ She thought. 

The pair thanked the receptionist and entered the elevator, making their way up. 

"She's rich, Chaeyoung. What the fuck, she's like _rich_." Jennie whisper-shouted as they made their way up every floor.

"I’ve realised.” Truthfully, Chaeyoung was nervous. She hadn't seen Lisa in a week, and she would be lying if she said she wasn't filled with anticipation. She'd even spent a longer time getting ready than she usually did on nights out (not that she went out a lot), she'd carefully done her makeup and put on her favourite dress, a black one that fit her like a glove. Jennie had even commented that Chaeyoung looked "So good that she was definitely going to get hit on". But would Lisa notice the effort she had made? Maybe she wouldn't. Maybe she wouldn't care.

Chaeyoung kinda wanted her to care, though. 

The ascent felt like forever but finally they reached the top floor. The doors dinged and slid open, revealing what Chaeyoung could only describe as a sight for sore eyes.

Lisa stood there, a glass of champagne in her left hand, wearing a tight, silky red dress.

Upon seeing Chaeyoung, an audible cough escaped her mouth. Embarrassed, she went red soon after, taking a rather substantial sip of her drink.

"Hello." She greeted.

The two girls stepped out of the elevator. Chaeyoung smiled shyly at Lisa, who's gaze had not once left her. Slowly, Lisa's eyes fell from Chaeyoung's face all the way down her body and then back up. Lisa was checking her out, shamelessly this time, and if the dark, lingering look in her eyes were any indication, she liked what she saw. Chaeyoung's stomach tingled.

"Hey." Chaeyoung said. 

Chaeyoung and Lisa must have been staring at each other for some time, because Jennie cleared her throat pointedly. She was glancing between both of them in confusion. Chaeyoung ripped her eyes away from Lisa and clasped her hands together.

"Yes! Well! Um, Lisa, this is Jennie. Jennie, Lisa." She introduced awkwardly, and even though they'd already met, Lisa bowed respectfully. 

"Thanks for last week... Also, sorry for last week." Jennie said sheepishly, to which Lisa chuckled.

"No! It's no worry. Nice to officially meet you. Welcome to my home." Lisa beckoned the pair deeper in, and Chaeyoung was in awe. It was like something out of a movie. Firstly, this penthouse had two floors, both occupied by more people than she'd been expecting. Loud music rang throughout the house and people were chattering, dancing and drinking but the vibe was generally fun. The floor was a smooth, shiny marble and there were huge windows in the living area that showcased a view of Seoul that made Chaeyoung's apartment look hilariously insignificant. In fact, Chaeyoung's apartment could probably fit five times in Lisa's place. Lisa led Chaeyoung and Jennie into a large kitchen where drinks and food were laid out on numerous tables. 

"Can I use the bathroom?" Jennie asked.

"Sure, there's three on this floor. Closest one is through these doors to the right." Lisa informed, and Jennie hurried off, leaving Chaeyoung and Lisa alone.

Again.

"I can't believe you live _here_." Chaeyoung said in shock. Lisa just smiled. 

"It's a nice place I guess." Then, her expression softened as she gazed down at Chaeyoung. "Thank you for coming. You look... nice." 

Chaeyoung blushed. "Thanks. You look nice too." 

Lisa opened her mouth to respond but a man came and interrupted her, presumably the butler, whispering something into her ear. Lisa rolled her eyes and smiled apologetically at Chaeyoung. "Hostess duties awaits. I'll find you later, Chaeyoung. Enjoy the party." 

Chaeyoung watched as Lisa left. Great, now she was alone. With a tired sigh she made her way into the main living area, examining her gorgeous surroundings. Jennie was still in the bathroom, and Chaeyoung didn't recognise any of the other guests in attendance so she opted to sit alone on one of Lisa's recliners and pull out her phone. She absentmindedly scrolled through twitter and replied to a couple texts from her family group chat, trying to seem occupied. She already wanted to go home. Parties just weren't her thing, they never had been. She'd much rather be at home, snuggled comfortably in her bed binge-watching a drama or one of the English shows that occasionally came on. There were too many people here, it was rather suffocating. 

After a couple minutes, Chaeyoung's vision suddenly became obscured by a man with whom she had never seen before in her life. He was handsome, with neat dark hair and the kind of flaunting, cocky smile that probably sent many girls swooning. He also smelled rather obnoxiously of cologne, which was making Chaeyoung's nose twitch a little. She already knew exactly what was coming.

" _Hello. Mind if I join_ you? _"_ The guy said in English, and Chaeyoung simply shrugged. She was  _so_ not in the mood for whatever this was about to turn into. 

" _Hello. Do you greet everyone in_ _English?_ " She responded, watching as the guy took a seat directly beside her and laughed. 

"Only the really pretty girls." He switched back to Korean. "I'm Jackson Wang." 

Chaeyoung tried hard not to roll her eyes, instead grasping Jackson's outstretched hand and giving it a firm shake. "Chaeyoung." 

Jackson gave her a dazzling smirk. He pretty much looked like every guy Jennie had tried to set her up with in the past, the undeniably handsome ones who _knew_ they were handsome that Chaeyoung found herself having no interest in. She just didn't find cockiness attractive on men. It irritated her, and she never fell for it. She saw right through their acts of fake chivalry.  

"I can see that you're not a party person." Jackson commented, glancing at Chaeyoung's phone as if it validated his assumption. 

"You're very perceptive." She responded dryly. 

"I've been watching you since you came in. You're beautiful. I just had to come and talk to you." He continued, oblivious to her tone. Chaeyoung could literally  _feel_ herself becoming more and more detached from the conversation, her disinterest slowly creeping in. If there was one thing she was terrible at it was faking interest. Once she was over a conversation, she couldn't and wouldn't hide it.  _At least pretend like you're interested_ Jennie would often scold her. 

"Mhmm." She mumbled, her eyes scouring the party. Maybe if she could find Jennie her friend could retrieve her from this situation. 

But then, she felt Jackson lean in close to her ear. She physically cringed. The stench of his cologne was making her want to gag. "This music is quite loud, is it not? We could go somewhere more private if you'd like..." He murmured.

She rose her eyebrows. _No thanks buddy,_ she almost said, quite amused at his bravery. Instead, she scoffed and continued her search for Jennie. But, with some odd stroke of luck, her eyes immediately locked with hard, brown ones.

Lisa. She was standing not far away, barely engaged in a conversation with someone else, sipping her champagne and watching Chaeyoung, with this steely intensity that unnerved her.

"So, what do you say?" Jacksons husky voice brought her back to her senses and Chaeyoung ripped her eyes away from Lisa and turned to her wooer. 

"Huh?" She asked distractedly.

Jackson chuckled. "I said lets go somewhere more private." 

"No thanks. I'm okay here." 

Jackson looked as if he was surprised at Chaeyoung's blunt rejection. His smile faltered a little. 

"I'm being too forward aren't I? Sorry, I don't usually approach girls at parties,"  _Yeah right._ "There's just something about you." 

Chaeyoung pulled a face. "I'm honoured." She said. "Well, it was nice meeting you Jackson. I have to find my friend now, bye." Without waiting for a response, Chaeyoung stood and left, praying that Jackson would get the hint and leave her alone.  _Why are guys so... ugh._ She thought with a shudder. Did girls seriously fall for that shit? "There's something about you my ass." Chaeyoung muttered in annoyance, squeezing past people to find Jennie. But then, she felt a warm hand wrap itself around her wrist, and she angrily turned around, expecting to see Jackson's smug face and give him a piece of her mind. However, she was met with a pissed off Lisa, which was even more baffling. 

"Can I have a word?" Lisa said, but it sounded more like a demand than a question. Chaeyoung barely had time to nod before Lisa pulled her through dancing bodies, away from the living area and straight into an empty room. She shut the door behind them and crossed her arms, regarding Chaeyoung. Her posture was composed, but she was pissed. It was obvious. She was pissed, but calm, and Chaeyoung couldn't help but notice how  _hot_ it looked on her. 

"He's a player." 

Chaeyoung sighed. Oh. So this was what this was about. Lisa must've picked up on Jackson's measly attempts to woo her. "Yeah, I gathered that. I'm not an idiot."

"So that's your taste in guys, huh." Lisa said firmly, still calm. 

Chaeyoung almost laughed. "Why does it matter? I'm capable of judging character, like I said I'm not an idiot."

"I never said you were. I'm just letting you know because I don't want you to get hurt."   
  
Did Lisa seriously think she was one of those girls who found bad boys sexy, and pursued them just because they loved the idea of taming them? She wasn't incapable of realising when a person was an absolute douchebag, and frankly the faux concern was horribly patronizing. "Oh how kind of you."

"Why are you being sarcastic?" Lisa seemed genuinely frustrated at Chaeyoung's response. 

"Why do you look upset? Even if I did plan to fuck the asshole it wouldn't be any of your business. I'm not in the mood for this right now,"

Lisa uncrossed her arms and sighed, closing her eyes. "You're turning this into a fight. It doesn't have to be."

Chaeyoung breathed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Lisa was right. They were both getting worked up for no reason. "You're right. I'm sorry. Excuse me, I'm going to find Jennie," What Chaeyoung really needed was some fresh air. She made a move to open the door but was stopped by Lisa's fingers yet again wrapping around her wrist.

"Wait--" Lisa began. Chaeyoung turned around, but wasn't prepared for the close proximity in which the two were suddenly standing. Lisa's hand was still wrapped around her wrist, and now all Chaeyoung could feel was fire, everywhere. The room felt hot. She could smell Lisa's scent, but it wasn't obnoxious like Jackson's. It was the opposite. It was captivating, permeating the air around them both and enrapturing Chaeyoung in a firm grasp. Lisa's brown eyes gazed into her own and she felt like the girl could read her thoughts, could feel what she was feeling, could hear the fast drum of her heart against her chest. They were too close. Too close. Chaeyoung was holding her breath now, and she wanted to move but she couldn't. Lisa had gotten into the air around her and it was making it hard to think coherently. Her eyes were so powerful, so meaningful, and when they dropped from her own eyes to her lips Chaeyoung released a halted breath. 

But then, Lisa blinked once, and then twice, and then three times and she slowly released her grip on Chaeyoung's wrist. All of a sudden, she was two paces away, and Chaeyoung could feel the absence of her presence. 

"Enjoy the party." Lisa said lamely. She was clearly just as disconcerted as Chaeyoung, the shakiness in her voice ringing loud and clear.

Chaeyoung smiled tightly. Her heart was now thudding so relentlessly that she was afraid it was going to escape from the confides of her body. She nodded once and then left the room as quickly as her wobbly legs would allow. That was... Chaeyoung didn't know _what_  that was. All she knew was that she could still feel Lisa all around her, and that her mind kept replaying what had happened over and over again. They had a moment. It didn't feel friendly. Not the way Lisa looked at her. That wasn't friendly. Not the way Chaeyoung felt. That wasn't friendly. 

She was scared. 

As if the world was playing some ironic joke on her, Chaeyoung found Jennie almost straight away. She was dancing closely with another girl, both of them giggling together. Chaeyoung forgot about her own internal conflict temporarily as she smiled at the sight of Jennie having fun. She was half expecting to find her friend gulping down her tenth glass of champagne and doing something erratic. Jennie noticed Chaeyoung standing there and stopped dancing.

"Chaeyoung!" Jennie yelled. 

Chaeyoung smiled. "Yo." 

Jennie laughed and wrapped her arm around her pretty new friend's waist. "This is Sana. She's Japanese." Okay, Jennie was a  _little_ tipsy, but Chaeyoung wasn't going to hold it against her. Her mind was definitely elsewhere. 

"Hello." Chaeyoung bowed politely.

Sana and Jennie giggled at her formality. "Aw, she's cute." Sana looked as if she wanted to squish Chaeyoung's cheeks. 

"You should see her when she's angry. Whats up Chaeyoung? You look flustered."

Chaeyoung cursed her face for reddening. "Um nothing. It's just hot in here." 

Sana was distracted by something, looking past Chaeyoung with wide, devilish eyes. "Looks like it's getting even hotter. Hostess with the mostest is having fun over there with Eunha." She giggled into her hand. 

Both Chaeyoung and Jennie simultaneously turned in the direction that Sana and many other guests were looking, and Chaeyoung's heart dropped into her stomach. Lisa was having a heated makeout session with another guest, a girl with short black hair and bangs. The crowd were whooping and cheering, most of them drunk, but Chaeyoung was sober. And sick. She felt a wave of emotion crash into her, and for some reason she felt betrayed. Betrayed and painfully jealous. It hurt. Even though the thought was absurd, deep down Chaeyoung felt like Lisa was doing this on purpose, to prove a point maybe, or to make sure that she could  _see_ it.

Chaeyoung couldn't bear to watch any more of this little show. She brushed past Sana and Jennie and stormed off, ready to leave and go home. Jennie, of course, immediately followed after her. 

"Chaeyoung hey wait! Where are you going? What's wrong?"

Chaeyoung felt tears itch away at her eyes but she successfully held them back. She wished for the life of her that she could provide an answer to that question. What  _was_ wrong?  _Why_ did she feel like someone was punching her repeatedly in the gut? Why did she care? She didn't know. She was overwhelmed, and tired, and she just wanted to go home. 

"Lets go home. Please." She pleaded. Jennie frowned but relented. 

"Okay, okay. You don't want to say goodbye to Lisa first?" Jennie obliviously said, and the sound of Lisa's name made Chaeyoung wince.

"She's preoccupied." She muttered bitterly, and didn't miss the confusion that flashed across Jennie's face at her tone. But, her friend just nodded and joined Chaeyoung on the elevator, silence engulfing the pair as they began the descent.

It was silent as they exited the luxurious building, silent as they entered the car, silent for half of the journey back home, in fact, until Jennie suddenly blurted out:

"Sana gave me her number."

Chaeyoung, despite  _not_ being in the mood, smiled at her friend. "That's great Jennie! She seems nice."

Jennie nodded and grinned.

"She's pretty. She's from Japan. I couldn't really focus on her personality when her ass was pressed against me."

Chaeyoung gasped and slapped Jennie. "Jennie Kim!" She admonished, her friends absurd, tipsy honesty making her chuckle.

Jennie always made her laugh, even when she felt like shit.

And right now, she truly felt like shit. 

Jennie smiled thoughtfully.

"I'm staying over tonight. And tomorrow, once you've had a good nights sleep, we're going to talk about what the hell is going on between you and Lisa." 

_What?_

 

 


	8. Understanding

Jennie and Chaeyoung didn't get to have that 'talk' however, because early the next morning Chaeyoung had slipped out of her apartment for an impromptu visit to her favourite restaurant downtown. 

Jennie was still fast asleep, even after Chaeyoung had showered, brushed her teeth and rummaged In her drawers for some clothes. The small amount of alcohol she had consumed had taken its toll on her, which for the first time Chaeyoung was grateful for. She needed fresh air, she needed to  _think,_ and she sure wasn't ready for questions to be hurled at her that she knew she wouldn't be able to answer. It was taking everything for her to push all thoughts of Lisa right back in her mind, but it was proving unsuccessful so far. Maybe going to the restaurant where she had first seen Lisa wasn't the most pragmatic move, but Chaeyoung was past the point of caring. They made the best breakfasts. 

So she sat alone, munching on her sweet egg sandwich whilst actively distracting herself from ruminating. 

That is, until, she overheard a conversation from the loud couple beside her. 

"-- Police were there earlier. Yeah, someone broke in last night." The man was saying to his girlfriend. 

"Yeah, well it was only a matter of time. It's their fault for thinking it's okay to have such a place and forcing their agendas on us." The girlfriend responded with a bitterness that was making Chaeyoung's irritation perk. She already didn't like that bitch. But, she did, with a burning worry that she didn't know she was capable of, realise that they were almost definitely referring to Jisoo's club. ' _Forcing their agendas_ ' sounded like the words of an ignorant straight person referring to the LGBT+ community. Which meant... 

Someone had broken in? 

Her hand instinctively shot out to grab her phone and text Lisa to make sure everything was alright, but she just  _couldn't_ bring herself to do it. She was being incredibly stubborn, and she was annoyed at herself for it, but her pride wasn't allowing her to send the text. So, she finished her breakfast hurriedly and paid for her food before rushing out of the restaurant and to the club. At this point, she had no idea what she was doing, she didn't even much  _like_ the club nor necessarily wanted to be associated with it, but the mere thought that someone had vandalised it, simply due to the fact that it was a gay club was making her sick to her stomach, and she knew that Jisoo sure as hell didn't deserve it. 

When she reached the club, the first thing she saw was a dishevelled, exhausted looking Jisoo staring up at the place. Shards of brown glass were sprawled out on the floor, and a couple officers were nearby, talking amongst themselves. Chaeyoung's feet pulled her closer, her heart aching. God, this was so terrible. 

Jisoo noticed the girl approaching her and gave her a smile, the lethargy seeping from her features. She was hugging herself, trying to seem strong but Chaeyoung could tell that she was feeling far from it. 

"Chaeyoung, hi." She said weakly. 

"Jisoo are you okay? These locals were talking about what happened in the restaurant just around the corner." 

Jisoo sighed. "Not really. Some homophobic assholes broke in, vandalised the place last night." She explained. 

Chaeyoung frowned. "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this." She said sincerely, and Jisoo smiled at her gratefully. 

"Thank you." She shuffled on her feet a little bit in discomfort. "How's Jennie? I saw you two at Lisa's party last night." She questioned, looking rather fidgety. 

"She's alright. I should probably text her and tell her about this." She looked back up at the scene of the club, shaking her head. Some people were truly troubled. 

Jisoo nodded. "Maybe you should."

"Is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all."

"Well I was just about to start cleaning some of the graffiti off the walls, but I can't really bring myself to do it."

"Won't that like... tamper with evidence?"

"The police aren't really taking this as seriously as they should. But it's okay, Lisa's hired private investigators and we have the footage."

 _What assholes,_ Chaeyoung thought, though she didn't verbalise her discontent with the situation. She predicted that Lisa was probably nearby, and that the ever generous girl had made moves to probably ensure the two idiots were caught. 

"Wow, okay. I'll head on in and start cleaning." 

"Wait, Chaeyoung?" Jisoo called.

Chaeyoung turned back, seeing Jisoo with a crestfallen look on her face. 

"Lisa is... impulsive. She's young. She doesn't know how to handle a lot of the things life throws at her. She likes to act like she has it all together for the people around her, but she has her own shit going on. Please understand that." 

Chaeyoung didn't know why Jisoo was telling  _her_ this information, but she nodded regardless. Lisa, after all that has happened, was still an enigma to her, a girl that seemed to have it all. Maybe she had layers. Chaeyoung thought everyone has layers. Does Jisoo know something that she doesn't? Deciding not to ponder on the woman's words, Chaeyoung went inside the club. Inside was even worse that she'd anticipated. Graffiti, mostly disgusting, homophobic remarks were on the walls, defacing everything. Tables and chairs had been turned over, like the vandalizers were just trying to make their point in the most violent looking way possible. She felt  _sick_. This was beyond twisted. Grabbing one of the buckets, she went to work, not before shooting Jennie a text and telling her to come. She hated that the police weren't taking this was seriously as they should, she hated everything about this situation.

"For a heterosexual christian you sure do seem to be in this club a lot." Came a voice. Chaeyoung stopped scrubbing and saw Lisa standing there, looking just as, if not more exhausted as Jisoo. Her phone was in her hands, indicating that she'd been making a lot of calls, and she was wearing a white capped hat that was so low it pretty much covered half of her face, along with some stylish navy blue dungarees. "What are you doing here?" Her voice was pointed and abrasive, like Chaeyoung being there was an inconvenience.

Chaeyoung concealed the sharp pinch of pain she felt. "Helping." She responded, curtly, but not harsh, because despite being upset with Lisa, she could sympathise with what she was feeling. And Jisoo's words were still floating in the back of her mind. 

Lisa was puzzled. "Why?" 

"Does it mat--" She stopped herself, biting her tongue. _Now's not the time._ Instead, she swallowed her massive pride and breathed out deeply. "I was nearby and I overheard a couple talking about what had happened, so I came to check and saw Jisoo outside. I'm sorry, this whole thing sucks." 

Lisa's hard, exhausted expression softened slightly. "The worst thing about this is that the police aren't doing shit. If it was a straight club they would be jumping to help out." She said angrily. 

"Jisoo said you hired a private investigator?"

"Uh-huh. There is also a cleaning crew on their way to fix the damages and get that filthy stuff off the walls, so you don't have to pull a muscle with all of that scrubbing." She smiled slightly, amused. Chaeyoung rolled her eyes and let the scrub splash back into the bucket. 

"Is there a day that goes by where you  _don't_ undermine my physical abilities?" Chaeyoung exasperated, but playfully, because she wasn't _really_ offended. It was obvious that Lisa wasn't in the best of moods at that current moment in time, and Chaeyoung wasn't  _that_ much of a shitty person that she'd make it worse by arguing with her. Being the adult that she was, she tried to be cordial, allowing their usual banter to rise to the surface despite seeing flashes of Lisa kissing that girl the night prior every time she spoke. She seriously needed to collect her thoughts.

Lisa shrugged, then shoved her hands into her dungaree pockets. "So... You left my party early yesterday." 

Oh no. They were steering into unchartered waters. Chaeyoung was  _not_ having this conversation in depth now, not in this circumstance. 

"Yeah I wasn't feeling well,"  _Change the subject change the subject change the subject._ "So uh... Guessing the private investigator was expensive?" The diversion of subject was painstakingly obvious, and Chaeyoung wished she had done it smoother, but if Lisa noticed she didn't show it. 

"I mean yeah, but I don't mind." 

"How sweet of you." 

Lisa chuckled and narrowed her eyes at Chaeyoung. "Sometimes I genuinely don't know if you're being sarcastic or not." She confessed, her lips almost pouted as if Chaeyoung's words confused her. 

Chaeyoung shook her head vigorously. "No no! That was me being serious." 

Lisa slowly nodded as if she didn’t believe her. Then, Chaeyoung heard the loud screech of tires, and she peered  outside, seeing Jennie's car parked directly on the curb. Her best friend came out of the car in a rush, much to the surprise of Jisoo, who was still stood out there. Chaeyoung watched as Jennie marched up to Jisoo and immediately embraced her, mumbling something in her ear. Jisoo was reciprocating the hug, her smaller body engulfed by Jennie. If Chaeyoung didn't know the situation, she would've thought they were a couple. Then, Jennie pulled back and they started talking, the look of sheer worry on Jennie's face so genuine and honest. 

Lisa shook her head in annoyance. "Jennie's here, but Nayeon isn't." She does fake air quotes. "She's ' _Too tired'_ to come and make sure her girlfriend is okay." Chaeyoung heard resentment in her voice, and she questioned whether Jisoo and Nayeon's relationship was what it was cut out to be. 

"How are you though?' Chaeyoung asked, even though she knew Lisa was far from okay.  _She doesn't know how to handle a lot of the things life throws at her._ Jisoo's words rang clear in her mind, and Chaeyoung watched Lisa, watched the way she was pacing back and forth, tapping her phone on her thigh repeatedly. And, for the first time, Chaeyoung saw a young woman, a young woman who held things too close to her heart, a young woman who deep down felt emotion strongly and forcefully, manifesting itself into frustration and anger. 

Lisa just shrugged. "I just want this to be fixed as soon as possible and for those fuckers to pay." Payback. Quick-fix solutions. Chaeyoung felt like Lisa was used to quick-fix solutions. Used to having relations with women once to avoid the drama, used to solving whatever she possibly could with her bank account.

Quick-fix solutions. Anything that didn't involve major feelings. 

She understood. 

"But how do  _you_ feel?" 

Lisa stopped pacing back and forth. "I don't know. Angry? A little bit guilty? I mean, if I didn't throw that stupid party maybe this would've been prevented." She said honestly, the lethargy seeping into her words. 

"Can I hug you?" Chaeyoung asked suddenly 

It was a bold move, but one that Chaeyoung felt was necessary. She felt like Lisa didn't get affection very often past sexual. She clearly lacked it from her parents, and from what Jisoo had told her, she was the friendship rock, the one that people came to to fix solutions. But in reality, there was no-one to fix her solutions other than herself. Lisa looked up at Chaeyoung in confusion, a laugh escaping her lips. 

"What?"

"Can I hug you." Chaeyoung repeated, not relenting, despite her own nerves slowly resurfacing. She was beginning to realise just how random the entire thing was, and she didn't blame Lisa for being confused out of her goddamn mind. But, rather than completely shutting her down, Lisa just nodded wordlessly, the confusion still blatant in her expression but curiosity also creeping in. 

Chaeyoung took a couple tentative steps towards the girl, and it was as if Lisa had frozen into a statue, stiff as rock as Chaeyoung approached her. Once close enough, Chaeyoung wrapped her arms around Lisa's neck and pulled her close to her in a warm embrace, feeling her relax into the hug. The latters' arms settled for Chaeyoung's waist, and Chaeyoung could feel her stomach skydiving at intense speeds when she heard Lisa let out a content breath. Lisa felt warm, and smelled like soap and the sweetness of her perfume. 

"When I was younger, and I was feeling angry or upset, my mom used to just hug me," Chaeyoung murmured into Lisa's neck. She knew, and she knew with an sharp potency, that this hug was not even  _remotely_ comparable to the ones shared with her mother. Those ones were filled with motherly love and kindness. This hug was filled with something, far, far more intimate. Like the release of repression from deep inside her, the sharing of emotion. It felt raw and unscathed, no pretences. This hug was authentic. 

Lisa didn't respond, but she didn't have to. Chaeyoung could hear her steady breathing, and it let her know that Lisa was calming down. It was working. 

Chaeyoung's heart swelled for the second time in Lisa's presence.

"Chaeyoung, Jennie is here- Oh..." 

Jisoo's voice yanked the two out of their trance, and if Chaeyoung was not mistaken, she could hear Lisa let out an audible sigh as she reluctantly pulled away from the hug. Jennie and Jisoo were a few feet away, both not bothering to hide their surprise and dubiety. Chaeyoung felt her face heat up, suddenly realising just how  _wrong_ their innocent hug probably looked from an outsider's perspective. Lisa wasn't as bothered by this, infact she looked irked at the interruption. Chaeyoung was sure she could see a faint blush on the woman's cheeks, however. 

"Sorry for interrupting." Jennie said with a slight smile. 

Chaeyoung shook her head quickly. "You weren't interrupting anything." She dismissed, her face feeling hotter by the second. 

"Hi Jennie." Lisa greeted cutely.

"Hey Lisa. Sorry about what happened, I had to make it here as quickly as possible. I hope you're okay." She apologised and Lisa waved a hand. 

"It's cool. I feel a little better now," Her eyes flickered to Chaeyoung and the sides of her lips tugged upwards gently.  

Chaeyoung smiled back, despite herself. This was unravelling into something terribly different, and she wasn't sure how to take it. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! How long has it been? Months?  
> Thank you all again for the comments and kudos, I'm sorry that I don't reply to them all but I do read them and they seriously make me so happy. So, if you do write me comments and kudos I APPRECIATE U.  
> 


	9. Feeling

"I'm going for a walk." Lisa announced suddenly. Her tired eyes warily looked at the disarray in the club. Chaeyoung didn't blame her for wanting to leave. She'd only been in there for an hour and already she felt the atmosphere suffocating her like this massive pressure. She could only imagine how much worse Lisa and Jisoo must have been feeling.

Jisoo nodded, the concern on her face evident. "Stay safe. Please." She said. Lisa laughed like Jisoo's concern was uneeded.

"I'll be fine, mother." 

Chaeyoung spoke quickly, so quickly that she wasn't even certain that her brain had processed any of the words she was about to say. "Why don't I come too! Just to... Make sure you're safe." She offered, not missing the flash of surprise on everyone's faces. She was being half-honest. Maybe she did just want to make sure Lisa was safe. Maybe she wanted to get some fresh air too. Maybe she wanted to escape Jennie's questioning gaze that hadn't left her since she walked in on them embracing. Maybe she wanted to be alone with Lisa. Maybe she wanted to do all four, and then some. 

"Good idea, Chaeyoung. Jennie and I will stay and make sure everything is okay here." Jisoo said, giving Lisa a pointed look. Those two seemed to be having a telepathic conversation, one that was too complex for the other two guests in attendance to decipher. Chaeyoung glanced at Jennie, who was evidently more panicked than she was a few minutes ago. _Is that okay?_ She discreetly mouthed, to which Jennie nodded once with an uncertain smile. Chaeyoung knew that being alone with Jisoo was a big deal for Jennie. Heck, being alone with Lisa was a big deal for Chaeyoung, too.  

Lisa shrugged. "Okay. That's fine by me. Ready, Chaeyoung?" And she turned to Chaeyoung with a smile that was too soft for her liking. Chaeyoung nodded. 

"I think so." 

* * *

 

Despite the circumstances and events that occurred, the day, in itself, was stunning. The sky was the sort of crisp, cloudless blue that made everything feel revitalised, including Chaeyoung herself. It was relatively early, still morning, so not many people were around as the pair of them approached the local park. 

"You like parks?" Lisa asked, the first thing she had said since they embarked on their duo trip. Chaeyoung almost laughed. Everyone that knew her knew how much she adored pretty scenery. She usually had her little camera with her everywhere she went, snapping artsy photos that she developed and stuck on her bedroom wall. 

"I do. A lot." Chaeyoung responded, eyes settling on the auburn trees and falling autumn leaves. Lisa smiled big and wide. 

"Not everyone does. Some people find them boring." She sighed. "I don't understand that at all. Parks remind me of my childhood. I used to sneak out of my house and go on the swings, all day long, until I could see the sky turn orange." 

Chaeyoung frowned slightly, turning to Lisa, who looked more solemn than before. "Did your parents not realise you were gone?"

Lisa nodded without meeting her eyes. "They did."

"Parks don't remind me of anything. I guess I'm just drawn to how natural they are. You could have the busiest, most industrialised city on earth but there's almost always a park somewhere within it, with greenery and nature and that's beautiful to me." 

Lisa hummed in agreement.

It was silent for a little while longer, but not uncomfortably so. Chaeyoung was enjoying the simple stroll far too much, enjoying the fresh air sweeping into her lungs that carried a hint of Lisa with it, enjoying the feeling of Lisa's presence beside her, like a burning furnace. She'd almost forgotten about the party, about everything that had happened in the club. Almost. But it was still there, and as much as she was trying to neglect it it just wouldn't vanish. 

And the more she tried to ignore it, the more it was multiplying in her head and taking precedence over every other thought, creating a spiral of conclusions and questions and doubts. Why was she here? What was she doing? Why was she enjoying it so much? What did it mean?

But, then Lisa spoke, and it pulled Chaeyoung out from the depths of her own mind. 

"Do you think if your future you was looking back, right now, they would think that you're living life to the fullest?" 

Chaeyoung thought about it. Long and hard. 

"I don't think so. I mean, I don't think I'll ever live life to the fullest. I don't think that's possible. Not now, anyway."

Lisa frowned. "Why not?"

Chaeyoung exhaled. "If I was living life to the fullest I'd be rich right now, travelling the world." She admitted. 

Lisa shook her head firmly. "That's all external. Living life to the fullest to me comes from inside of you. It means being wholly, completely happy and content with the person you see when you look within yourself." Her tone was low and distant, but each word still ripped into Chaeyoung like she'd been targeted. When she looked inside of herself, she didn't know what she saw. She'd never known what she saw. She'd never really thought about it. 

"I've never thought about it."

"Should I be honest?" Lisa said. "Neither have I, until I met you."

"Me?" Chaeyoung said, startled. Lisa was smiling at the ground, suddenly rather reserved and shy. 

"I don't think I've ever met someone quite like you. You're the first person who has ever made me look at myself. I don't know why. I'm still trying to figure that out." She disclosed. Chaeyoung would be lying if she said that her heart wasn't racing. She'd be lying if she said that she wasn't feeling warm inside. She'd be lying if she said that looking at Lisa, who was very obviously avoiding her gaze, wasn't making a smile so genuine that Chaeyoung didn't know she had it in her flourish on her face. 

"Well when you do figure it out, let me know." 

Lisa chuckled and shook her head. "Nope. I'm keeping it a secret." 

Chaeyoung meant to scowl at Lisa, but a laugh escaped instead. "That's not fair!"

"You know what else isn't fair?" Lisa taunted. Chaeyoung rose an eyebrow.

"What?"

"This!" Lisa shouted, suddenly taking off running in the direction of the club. "Last one to the club is a rotten egg!" 

Chaeyoung cursed Lisa under her breath and started chasing her, both girls laughing like madwomen. It was almost absurd, and from the curious and confused looks from the locals, who weren't exactly expecting to see two adults having a race in the early hours of the morning, they thought so too. Chaeyoung didn't care. Lisa was fast, and she was competitive, and she was not going down without a fight. Sadly, it wasn't enough, and Lisa came to a halt outside the club first. 

"You're such a child!" Chaeyoung exclaimed, maybe just a little bit (just a little bit) annoyed that she lost the race. 

Lisa giggled and shrugged. "And you're a rotten egg. I don't make the rules." 

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. "Shut up Lisa. Let's just go inside." 

When the two girls entered the club once again, they saw Jisoo, Jennie and another girl talking in a close huddle. Chaeyoung narrowed her eyes to see the girl a little bit better. She didn't recognise her at all. She was gorgeous, slightly shorter than both her and Lisa, also sporting dark bangs and a gamma-watt smile. 

Upon realising that they had returned, they all turned. The random girl's eyes immediately stuck on Lisa, and her smile widened. CHaeyoung almost pulled a face. Who was this girl?

"Lisa? Oh my God." The girl squealed, running up to Lisa and engulfing her in a hug. Chaeyoung took an awkward step back, watching as Lisa hugged the girl back. Lisa seemed startled herself, she was blinking very slowly and she looked at Jisoo pointedly. 

"Sorn. What are you doing here?" Lisa asked in surprise. 

Sorn pulled back from Lisa.

"I came to Korea to surprise you but then I heard about what happened." Sorn glanced at Chaeyoung briefly, looking her up and down. "Who's this?"

Chaeyoung almost laughed. ' _Who's this_ '? Something was suspicious about the way Sorn was acting around Lisa, she wasn't sure if she liked it. Lisa didn't look too comfortable either. She kept looking at Jisoo as if asking her to get her out of the situation. 

"I'm Chaeyoung. Lisa's friend. Who are you?" Chaeyoung asked politely, even smiling in the same manner Sorn was. She didn't want to be rude, especially since she didn't know who Sorn was. 

Sorn wrapped her arm around Lisa's waist almost territorially. Yet, her smile didn't waver. 

"Sorn. Lisa's old friend from home. It's nice to meet you, Chaeyoung." She turned back to Lisa, immediately dismissing Chaeyoung. "Lisa, why don't we go out to eat? I can't imagine how you're feeling right now." Her expression softened.

Chaeyoung hated this. She was sure that her face was conveying how much she hated this, too. 

Jisoo, thankfully, stepped in. "Why don't we all go out to eat? I know that I'm  _starving_. Jennie, Chaeyoung, what do you two think?"

Jennie nodded. "Sounds good to me." 

Chaeyoung just nodded. Sorn's smile faltered a little bit, but she quickly plastered it back on her face.

"Well, the more the merrier I guess!" Sorn exclaimed. "Shall we? My driver is outside." 

_She has a driver?_

 

Lisa did nothing as Sorn intertwined their arms, she hadn't even looked in Chaeyoung's general direction. Chaeyoung watched as the two 'old friends' headed out of the club together, leaving her with a sympathetic looking Jisoo and Jennie. Jennie kindly looped her arm in Chaeyoung's.

Jisoo sighed. 

"I didn't think I'd ever see her again." She muttered. 

Chaeyoung wanted to ask who the  _hell_ Sorn was, but she figured that they'd find that out over food.

Nonetheless, she wasn't sure how to feel about her.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A softer chapter. Sorry that it's not that long considering how long this fic has been on hiatus but essentially this marks the revive of this fic so do expect there to be MORE, LONGER BETTER chapters very soon.
> 
> Even if it takes months, years, decades, I'll make sure this fic is complete. I'm so sorry for putting it on hiatus in the first place. 
> 
> Also, CAN WE DISCUSS THIS COMEBACK I'M LITERALLY DEAD I WANTED TO WAIT FOR THE COMEBACK UNTIL RE-STARTING THIS FIC AND I'M DECEASED.  
> {Hit you with that dududududuuuuu} 
> 
> What's you guys favourite song on square up? Mine has to be forever young but of course d4 is a close second. I love these girls with all my heart :(


	10. Reconciliation

"She has a driver. A freaking  _driver_ , Jennie." Chaeyoung hissed to her bestfriend as the pair finally pulled up outside the restaurant. The sudden appearance of Lisa's so-called- old friend was still perturbing Chaeyoung. It didn't help that Sorn's 'driver' drove a new edition BMW that according to Sorn could ' _only hold up to three passengers_ '. Chaeyoung and Jennie were left trailing behind Jisoo, Sorn and Lisa in Chaeyoung's beaten up Honda. She would be lying if she said she wasn't a _little_  pissed. 

Jennie was watching Sorn, Lisa and Jisoo closely as they were escorted out of the expensive car. "Are they exes or something? It's like she hasn't left Lisa's side since you two got back." She speculated. 

Chaeyoung's eyes flew towards Sorn and Lisa. She was still latched onto Lisa's arm, giggling as if she had just told a joke. Lisa was smiling, and the discomfort that was prevalent upon Sorn's return had seemingly dissapeared. Chaeyoung didn't respond to Jennie, truly internalising what she suggested. Maybe Sorn and Lisa were exes. That would explain the air of tension between them that delved deeper than just platonic childhood friendship. Whatever the history, Chaeyoung wasn't a fan. She didn't like the way that Sorn's arrival had pushed her under the rug, like she was an insignificant liability to Lisa and Sorn was more important. Maybe Sorn was more important to Lisa. Besides, Chaeyoung had barely known Lisa for a month. Sorn was someone who had known Lisa for much, much longer. Time was a bond that no other could penetrate. 

"Come on, let's go. At least Jisoo had the decency to wait for us." Chaeyoung muttered. It was true. Jisoo was stood just outside her car, waiting for the duo to emerge. Lisa and Sorn had apparently gone straight inside the restaurant. Chaeyoung actually felt disheartened. She was hoping the rest of the lunch wasn't going to be like that. The day had been too hectic, too confusing for her to end it being a third wheel. Well, fifth wheel if Jisoo and Jennie were included, but those two were in a world of their own.

Jennie was the first to exit the car, travelling over to Jisoo and giving her a reassuring smile. Chaeyoung noticed that Jennie had taken on a protective role, always by Jisoo, always asking if she was okay, if she was comfortable. It was heartwarming. Despite everything that happened, Jennie still really cared. 

"Sorry about Sorn. Lisa told me they were inseparable at birth, so whenever they're together they tend to be quite... close." Jisoo explained as the three of them made their way into the restaurant. 

Chaeyoung nodded. "I can tell." She said, trying not to sound bitter about it. She shouldn't have been bitter, anyway. Sorn hadn't explicitly done or said anything to Chaeyoung, or anyone else that warranted Chaeyoung's annoyance towards her. There was just... _something_ about her. Something about the way her and Lisa acted together. It was frustrating, and it was making Chaeyoung act completely against her usual behaviour. She never disliked people straight off the bat. In fact, it was one of her values to have at least one conversation with them first to gauge their character. 

The restaurant wasn't particularly fancy, though it was evidently on the more expensive side. Couples and families huddled around tables chattering and the general atmosphere was warm. Lisa and Sorn were waiting by the entrance beside a waitress. Sorn was laughing again, which Chaeyoung was beginning to find a tad excessive. Whenever Sorn laughed, she had a habit of playfully resting her hand on the arm of the person who was making her chuckle. So, her hand was continuously coming into contact with Lisa's bare arm. Chaeyoung refrained from rolling her eyes.

For the first time since Sorn's arrival, Lisa actually acknowledged Chaeyoung's existence when they finally caught up, flashing her a brief, tight smile that was just so different from her usual wide- cheeky grins. Chaeyoung smiled back, albeit in the same manner. Sorn still had her hand on Lisa's arm, and she looked irritated at the interruptance. After all, she was having such an astronomical laugh with Lisa, Chaeyoung Jennie and Jisoo must have intruded on their comedic conversation. Chaeyoung didn't exactly feel terrible about that. Not in the slightest, actually.

"Good afternoon. Are you three with these two ladies?" The waitress asked. 

"Yes, they are with us." Sorn replied hastily, flashing a bittersweet smile at Chaeyoung. 

The waitress nodded. "Okay, if you'd like to follow me. The rooftop table is available."

The group were led through the restaurant and up a flight of stairs. It was awkward, and quiet, and Chaeyoung wasn't in the mood for conversation with anybody. It's not like she could engage in chit-chat anyway. Sorn was barely letting anyone within a metre of Lisa without making a gesture out of touching her, wrapping their arms together, rubbing her cheek like she was a child. It made it pretty difficult for Chaeyoung to even catch Lisa's eye. Jisoo and Jennie were talking amongst themselves. Chaeyoung felt like she was the fifth member of a couples double date, the single, loser friend. Once they reached the rooftop, Chaeyoung was relieved. It was stunning. The view of Seoul was unmatched, the gleaming, celestial sun shining brighter than ever as it stood righteously at the highest place in the sky. Gorgeous, well looked after flowers of every colour were neatly positioned around the corners of the rooftop. The table lay smack dab in the centre, with (conveniently) five chairs around it. 

"This is beautiful." Chaeyoung breathed, having the sudden urge to snap a photo of the place for her Instagram. Lisa hummed in agreement. 

"I can only imagine how it must look when you can see the sunset." Lisa was grinning in her usual way now. Chaeyoung met her eye and she felt a slight clench in her stomach. The sun was shining harshly down on Lisa, making her already expressive eyes a lighter shade of brown. Lisa was stunning. Every inch of her.

"Yes. Our customers note how much they enjoy the view. You can go ahead and take a seat, and I'll be back in a few minutes for your orders." The waitress said politely, bowing before taking off. Chaeyoung realised she had been looking too deeply into Lisa's eyes and she turned away, crossing her arms and pretending that she didn't think anything of it.

Lisa was the first to take a seat, and like clockwork, Sorn rushed after her, sliding into the seat beside her. Chaeyoung exhaled and moved to the seat opposite. This was going to be a long, long lunch. 

Once everyone was seated, Sorn sparked up conversation.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to the club." She sighed, eyebrows knitted as she looked at Jisoo and Lisa. "It's truly, truly horrible."

Lisa sighed. "You don't have to apologise, Sorn. It's not your fault. Some people will just go to horrible extents to project their harmful views onto everyone else." 

Sorn grasped the opportunity to place her hand on top of Lisa's comfortingly.

Lisa didn't even flinch.

Chaeyoung did, though. 

"I've just missed you so ,much Lalisa. We all have." Sorn was gently stroking Lisa's hand, their eyes sealed like glue and Chaeyoung was actually beginning to feel sick. Had Sorn forgotten that her and Lisa weren't the only ones on the table? Had she forgotten that there were three others watching them do whatever the _hell_ it was they were doing?  

"Lalisa?" Chaeyoung spoke up, confused at the name. She was wondering if maybe Lalisa was a pet name for Lisa, after all she had never once heard the girl been referred to as such. All eyes promptly turned to her, including Lisa's. Sorn looked amused.

"Oh, you didn't know? Lalisa is Lisa's full Thai name." She elucidated, an irritatingly smug smirk on her face. Chaeyoung was a little hurt that Lisa hadn't disclosed this information to her. Sure, Chaeyoung was aware of the fact that Lisa was Thai, but the more she thought about it, the more she realised that she didn't actually know about anything else regarding her background. She didn't know if she had any siblings, she didn't know if she missed home. The last time she had brought up Lisa's parents, Lisa seemed unresponsive, so Chaeyoung had decided from that point onwards to avoid the topic altogether. She almost regretted it now. 

"No, I didn't know Sorn. Thanks though, for making it _crystal clear_." Chaeyoung sarcastically responded, shocking herself by the dryness in her own voice. Jennie, who had been idly sipping her soju throughout the entire conversation, choked on her drink in a chuckle then promptly covered it up with an unconvincing cough. Sorn's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, but so discretely that only Chaeyoung noticed. Lisa was staring at Chaeyoung confusedly, trying to decipher why her response was so biting. Chaeyoung didn't even meet her eye.

 "Happy to help," Sorn replied with the same level of sarcasm. "So, you and Lisa are friends? I'm guessing you two only met recently." She laughed slightly, and Chaeyoung pulled a face. The condescending little...

"Yeah the friendship is pretty fresh." Lisa said honestly. Chaeyoung was kind of hoping for some elaboration from her, but none came. It felt like someone had stabbed her in the back. Sure, what Lisa had said was true, their friendship was very, very fresh and she'd be lying if she said that they were the closest friends ever, but that didn't mean Lisa had to say it so blatantly like that. Sorn was only going to revel in the smug satisfaction that it granted. Plus, she almost felt more connected to Lisa. 

And boy, was she revelling in it. She grinned. "I figured. That's really cute. Don't worry, the more you get to know Lalisa the more you'll love her." 

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. Lisa finally frowned, like it was the first time she was picking up on Sorn's condescending tone.  

"Chaeyoung has been one of the few constants in my life recently, Sorn. That's more than I can say for you."

Sorn was shocked. "What? What do you mean?"

Chaeyoung glanced at Jennie, who pulled a 'yikes' facial expression.

"You know exactly what I mean." Lisa muttered. 

Sorn glanced at the others around the table. It was suddenly very awkward. Luckily, the waitress came by in the nick of time with her notepad, ready to take everyone's orders. Sorn forced a smile, keeping up appearances as she placed her order. Chaeyoung examined Lisa. She was staring at the table, clearly annoyed. What was going on?

Once the waitress had left, Jisoo cleared her throat.

"We're here to eat lunch. Whatever the issue is with you guys, can you resolve it after the meal?" She said sternly. 

Lisa and Sorn nodded.

Sorn breathed out and tucked a stand of hair behind Lisa's ear. "I'm sorry Lalisa. You know I care about you." She expressed.

"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back." Chaeyoung announced. She was sick of this, sick of the lunch, sick of seeing Lisa and Sorn act like stupid fucking forlorn lovers, sick of not knowing what the hell was happening. She needed a break. Lisa immediately looked up at her with those striking brown eyes that were full of concern.

"You okay?" She asked softly, and Chaeyoung wanted to rip her eyes out because  _goddamit why_ did Lisa have to look at her like that? It made her heart feel like it was about to explode and Chaeyoung  _hated it._

"I'm fine." She replied, but her voice came out strained. Not looking at Lisa, or Sorn, Chaeyoung grabbed her bag and made her way off the rooftop. 

 

* * *

 

Chaeyoung entered the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She truly had no clue how she kept ending up in these situations. Her life was never like this before. In act, it was petty mundane. She went to work, came home and then did the same thing the next day. Lisa's appearance had fast tracked her life into one that was full of drama and she wasn't exactly sure how to take it. Part of her was relieved that something was finally happening in her life, but the other part of her missed the simplicity of it before. Before, when she had no internal conflict and doubts about who she was. Before, when one person didn't consume her mind ceaselessly. Before, when she lived by avoiding the unknown. Everything used to be simple.

As she dwelled on this, the door to the bathroom swung open. Chaeyoung wasn't expecting to see Sorn, her face, for once, wiped of the smugness and now conveying genuine exhaustion. 

Chaeyoung sighed. She didn't want to suffer from Sorn's contemptuous nature any longer.

"Look, Sorn, I don't know what your problem is with me--"

"Chaeyoung, I came to say I'm sorry." Sorn interrupted.

Chaeyoung was taken aback. Her eyes widened slightly and she turned to face Sorn in surprise.

"You're _sorry_?"

Sorn nodded. "I've been possessive over Lalisa and truly unfriendly towards you. If you'll allow, I'd like to explain myself."  She said. Her expression was solemn, and Chaeyoung wanted to hear what she had to say. 

"Go ahead."

Sorn walked further into the bathroom.

"I could tell from the second that I saw you two together that Lalisa cares about you. When she really cares abut somebody, she's terrible at hiding it. Or maybe I've known her for so long that I can sense it." Sorn mused with a chuckle, as if she was talking to herself and not another person. Chaeyoung waited for her to continue. She wasn't sure if she saw what Sorn was seeing. 

"Lalisa and I used to share a cot when we were babies. We've known each other our entire lives... We were both planning to run away to South Korea when we were old enough, and we spent _years_ learning the language but in the end she was the only one who left. I don't mean this to sound condescending, but there's a lot about Lalisa that you dont know yet. She likes to leave her past in the past which is why she probably doesn't talk about it, but when she left home everything changed. I was here to convince her to come back to Thailand. She's not on good terms with her family. They resorted to asking me to travel all the way here to convince her come home. It's been years, Chaeyoung, _years_  since she's seen them. Lalisa needs to be home where she can live her life with the security of her family and friends. What happened at the club could happen again." 

Chaeyoung took this in. She didn't want Lisa to move back to Thailand. Lisa had friends here and she seemed happy. She didn't want her to leave.

"Her friends here _are_ her family." Chaeyoung replied. 

"I had a feeling you would be the reason she stayed. Or partly the reason, anyway. I guess that was why I didn't like you. I mean, Jisoo, I've met her a few times. I know how much she cares about Lalisa. But you, I've never met you, I don't know your intentions or if you care about Lisa and I suppose I felt threatened. For that, I'm sorry." Sorn sighed before continuing. "She's made a home for herself here and I get that. But, you must understand, nothing beats blood. Nothing beats family."

Chaeyoung, knowing how much she cared about her family, couldn't disagree. She didn't know the details between Lisa and her own, and it wasn't her place to find out, so she didn't question it.

"Lisa is an adult. She's capable of making her own decisions and if she doesn't want to keep in contact with them then it's not for us to try and convince her to."

Sorn let out a sound of frustration.

"Look, Things have changed. Lalisa won't listen to me anymore. I think she values your opinion more. I think you should try and convince her to come home. The Manoban family run this massive annual event at one of their properties in Bangkok. Lisa hasn't been to one since... since she came out. I know it's too much to ask, but her family want to apologise. They want to see her. They want to make things right."

Chaeyoung rubbed her forehead. "I don't know about this, Sorn."

"Hey, I don't want to force you to do anything. Just think about it. Family is everything."

Sorn re-adjusted her bag and started to leave.

"Tell Lalisa that I had an emergency and had to leave. I'll call her later."

"You're leaving? Already?" Chaeyoung exasperated.

Sorn smiled sadly. "Me being here is doing more harm than good for now. I'll speak to her and explain. Thank you, Chaeyoung. I see what she sees in you. Take care of her, but also take care of yourself." 

With that, Sorn left the bathroom. Chaeyoung frowned. 

"What have I gotten myself into?" She mumbled to herself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chaeyoung just doesn't get a break LMAO. (Also I love Sorn she's the sweetest angel ever Stan CLC!)
> 
> Gosh, I'm overwhelmed with the support this story is receiving. Over 300 kudos????!?! Are you kidding me? You guys are seriously the best readers an author could ask for.


	11. The aftermath

Chaeyoung returned to the rooftop with a hazy mind. Lisa, Jennie and Jisoo were talking, blissfully unaware that Sorn had left and was not returning. Chaeyoung hated to be the bearer of bad news and she was hoping that it didn't hurt Lisa's feelings too severely. 

Jennie spotted Chaeyoung and smiled. "You took forever. We were starting to think you had left." She joked, and Chaeyoung laughed awkwardly. Sure, after her conversation with Sorn, she'd stayed in the bathroom for quite some time, evaluating the situation. Her heart was telling her to do as Sorn had asked and speak to Lisa about returning home, but her mind was telling her to avoid potential conflict and let things happen naturally. Unfortunately, she knew that it was far too late to stay out of the situation. Everything that Sorn revealed would hang over her head and infiltrate her mind unless she said something. 

"Sorry." Chaeyoung mumbled, moving back to her seat. She anxiously looked up at Lisa, the woman's caring expression still intact. She just didn't know how to approach Sorn's departure. Should she be straightforward and transparent, or should she come up with an excuse for Sorn to make it more palatable? The last thing she wanted to do was upset Lisa, even if it was in hesitance. 

"Um..." Chaeyoung began. "Sorn left. She's not coming back to eat with us." She revealed reluctantly, watching as Lisa's head jerked in astonishment. She winced, already seeing that Lisa wasn't surprised in a good way. In fact, she almost looked as if she had been expecting it. Her face immediately switched from shock to disappointment. 

"Did she say why?" Lisa asked in a small voice. 

Chaeyoung exhaled. "I ran into her in the bathroom. She uh... She said that there was an emergency and that she'd call you later." She recalled. Lisa's face dropped more and more with each word. She looked crushed, round eyes filled with sadness, and Chaeyoung felt  _so_ terrible. Lisa's sadness had this adverse way of making Chaeyoung  _feel_ her pain. Even though it was in no way Chaeyoung's fault that Sorn decided to leave, she still felt incredibly guilty.

"Oh, okay." Lisa said, looking down at the table. 

Chaeyoung opened her mouth to say something,  _anything_ that would console Lisa but she had no idea what to say. 

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Sorn never seems to stay here for long." Jisoo sighed. There was an anger in her voice as she spoke. Chaeyoung wondered how many times Sorn had turned up in South Korea and then left almost immediately without warning. She could only imagine how emotionally wrenching it must have been for Lisa. Especially since Sorn seemed to be the only person that Lisa was in contact with from her past. The one sole link to what she used to know. 

"Hey, she may be gone but that doesn't mean we can't still enjoy our meal, right?" Chaeyoung remarked, attempting to bring the spirits up. She bravely reached over the table and placed her hand on top of Lisa's, in the same way Sorn had done. Lisa glanced up and Chaeyoung thought she could see the ghost of a smile start to appear on her face at the contact. Lisa's skin was so soft, and Chaeyoung couldn't help but notice just how  _right_ it felt for it to be there. It didn't feel awkward, or forced. It felt natural, and right, and Chaeyoung kind of wished she could stay like that forever. 

"Right! The fried chicken I ordered has to be cherished in a non-depressing atmosphere." Jennie agreed, causing everyone to chuckle. 

"I remember when you used to order that every time we went out to eat. How you still remained in shape is _beyond_ me." Jisoo giggled. Jennie shrugged. 

"Fast metabolism." She said, grinning widely at Jisoo. "And please, we _both_ used to eat a lot. You were the one who always dragged me out to a restaurant." 

"I was being romantic!" Jisoo protested.

Both girls started laughing at the memory and Chaeyoung and Lisa exchanged a glance. It was only then that Chaeyoung realised she was still essentially fondling Lisa's hand, and she quickly moved it away. Jennie and Jisoo reminiscing on their relationship sounded painfully bittersweet given the circumstances. Jennie seemed to realise this, because her laughter soon faded into a gentle, sad smile.

The food arrived shortly after, and all girls clapped in glee. Chaeyoung was  _starving_. It was hardly late into the day, but after everything that had happened her appetite had inflated and she needed to fuel her body. Jennie didn't even wait for the others to begin, already munching down on her food. The conversation was light but comfortable for the rest of the lunch, and the topic of both Sorn and the club was heavily avoided. Jisoo asked about Chaeyoung and Jennie's work, and Chaeyoung expressed how much she enjoyed it. There was something about the four of them being together that just felt so right. It was as if they had known each other for longer than they had. Lisa made Chaeyoung smile, the way her eyes widened in joy whenever she took a mouthful of her food, the way her and jisoo bounced off each other. A selfish part of Chaeyoung was glad that Sorn had left, because she knew that they wouldn't have had such easy conversation and a chilled dynamic had she still been around. 

Once they had finished eating, Chaeyoung didn't want to leave. The sun was still bright, and she couldn't go without snapping some pictures for her Instagram.

"You coming or what?" Jennie asked. The three of them were gathering their belongings to leave, looking at Chaeyoung expectantly. Chaeyoung shook her head.

"Go ahead. I'll catch up with you guys in a little bit." 

Jennie rolled her eyes, nudging Jisoo. "She's going to take some pictures for her Instagram. It's going to take a hell of a lot longer than a little bit." She sighed. Jisoo laughed.

"Okay, Chaeyoung. Have fun."

With that, Jennie and Jisoo took off, but Lisa remained. She swung her arms back and forth like she wanted to say something. Chaeyoung raised an eyebrow. "You staying with me?" She questioned. 

Lisa nodded. 

"Probably best to give Jisoo and Jennie some alone time anyway. I think they have a lot to talk about." She said, walking to join Chaeyoung. 

Chaeyoung murmured in agreement. She just hoped that Jisoo and Jennie's talk didn't result in tears or repressed feelings that exploded and caused chaos. 

Lisa rubbed the back of her neck. "So... Are you okay?" She asked tentatively. 

Chaeyoung scoffed. "Am  _I_ okay? I should be asking you the same question. This has been such a rollercoaster of a day for you!" 

Lisa chuckled. "I've been better. I was asking because of Sorn. She wasn't exactly treating you the best today. I'm sorry for not being more stern with her." Lisa apologised, her eyebrows knitted. She looked deeply sorry, and also regretful, and any semblance of annoyance or resentment that Chaeyoung might have held in her heart towards her vanished just like that. Chaeyoung was beginning to think that even if Lisa burned her entire apartment complex to the ground, she could look at her with those eyes and apologise and Chaeyoung would probably forgive her in a millisecond and pay for the damage. She was going insane. 

"It's okay, Lisa. She has her reasons." Chaeyoung said gently. In an ideal world, now would be the perfect time to bring up what Sorn had spoken to Chaeyoung about, but everything was going so well thus far, she didn't want to ruin it by talking about something that was clearly a touchy subject. 

Lisa sighed. "It's just... have you ever expected something to happen, but hoped that it wasn't going to happen, and then it happens and you're just kind of like  _shit_?" Lisa queried, hands thrusted into the air in frustration. 

"Well, when I was ten I didn't clean my fish tank for three weeks and I knew that my fish would die but I didn't want her to and then she eventually did and I cried for three hours straight." Chaeyoung expressed. She still regretted not cleaning the tank. Still, thirteen years later. From that day onwards she vowed to treat all fish with the respect they deserved.

Lisa looked like she was trying not to laugh. "I'm sorry that happened. I'm sure your fish is living it up in fish heaven." 

Chaeyoung playfully slapped Lisa's arm. "Don't mock her death!" 

Lisa chuckled. "Well, that's how I feel about Sorn leaving without telling me. I mean, I knew it was going to happen, because it's happened before, but it still hurts, you know?" 

Chaeyoung nodded in understanding. "I get it. She means a lot to you, so it's going to hurt regardless."

Lisa exhaled. "Exactly. But hey, what can you do." She shrugged.

Chaeyoung was itching to ask Lisa a question, but she wasn't sure if Lisa would take it the right way. It was the same question that had been nagging at her since she saw Sorn and Lisa together, and she was hoping that during her conversation with Sorn she would answer it somehow, but she didn't. 

"Can I ask you something?" She asked. 

"Sure." 

Chaeyoung played with her thumbs in an attempt to relieve the nervousness she was suddenly feeling. 

"You and Sorn. Are you two like... Exes?" She asked. 

Lisa burst into laughter, and Chaeyoung eyed her. "Oh, God no. I mean, I had a crush on her when I was like fourteen but she's more like family." She even went as far as to cringe at the thought. 

Chaeyoung had no words for how unreasonably relieved she felt. It was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Lisa cared about Sorn, and Sorn cared about Lisa, but it wasn't in a way that was the result of harboured feelings and unresolved romantic tension. That meant that Sorn was just being touchy touchy with Lisa to make a point. But, there was still a question levitating in Chaeyoung's mind. She thought back to the party, when she witnessed Lisa and the girl, 'Eunha' according to Sana, eating each other's faces. She had to know what their deal was, if anything to give her peace of mind. She didn't know why she needed peace of mind, or why she cared, but she wasn't going to think about the details. She just wanted answers.

"Right. And Eunha, from the party. Is she an ex too?"

Lisa raised both eyebrows. She seemed to be going red from some form of embarrassment. "Nope." She replied. 

"Right." 

The same wave of relief washed through Chaeyoung, and she worked hard to control her facial expression, pretending to be unbothered. Both girls were blatantly avoiding eye contact with each other. An awkward silence soon descended on the pair, before Lisa cleared her throat.  

"And um... Did you end up getting Jackson's number?" Lisa asked in the exact same way Chaeyoung did, trying to feign nonchalance. 

Chaeyoung glanced at Lisa from the corner of her eye. "Nope." She replied.

"Right." Lisa wasn't as adept at pretending not to care. She was smiling. Chaeyoung meant to scowl at her, but she found herself smiling, too. 

The silence resumed. Chaeyoung was pretty sure she could hear Lisa humming to herself.

"So, do you want to take some pictures? If you'd like I can be your photographer." Lisa offered, swiftly changing the subject. She seemed to suddenly be in pretty good mood now, hopping on her feet. Chaeyoung giggled.

"If being my Instagram photographer would make you happy Lisa, then sure." 

Lisa cheered. 

"You're not ready for this." She exclaimed, backing up to get a better view. "What kind of picture do you want?"

Chaeyoung shrugged. "Just try and get the background in it. So like, you can see my body but also the view." 

"Any particular angle?"

"I don't mind."

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Usually my models know exactly what kind of angle they want in pictures but okay."

Chaeyoung scoffed. "Lisa, this isn't a high-end photoshoot. It's a picture for Instagram." She elucidated. 

"Hey, you asked for my help. My services are usually very costly."

"You offered to take the photos! I was just going to take a selfie and be done with it!" Chaeyoung exclaimed. 

Lisa dismissively waved her hand. "Semantics! Pass me your phone. We can't spend all day up here."

With a huff, Chaeyoung handed Lisa her phone. Lisa swiftly manoeuvred herself so that she was crouched on the floor a few feet away from Chaeyoung. She really was putting her all into this photo. Chaeyoung shook her head with a chuckle. 

"Whenever you're ready." Lisa said impatiently. 

Chaeyoung began posing, staring directly into the phone camera. She could hear the click of the camera every few seconds, with Lisa throwing a thumbs up whenever she did a particularly 'photo-worthy pose'. After a minute or so, Lisa stopped taking the pictures and she walked up to Chaeyoung with the phone in hand. 

"Let's take a look then shall we?" Chaeyoung breathed, opening up her gallery. An array of pictures took up her camera roll, and she was impressed at Lisa's dedication. Lisa came over to join her, peering over her shoulder to look at the pictures. If it was anyone else, Chaeyoung wouldn't have minded, but Lisa was so  _close_ to her, that she could feel her soft breath on her bare neck. Chaeyoung felt her hand holding the phone falter slightly, her heart suddenly going into overdrive. Clearing her throat, she started to flick through the photos. Lisa remained silent as they flicked through, and Chaeyoung didn't know if she hated the photos she took or if she just hadn't found one she liked yet. To her, the photos were awesome. Lisa had perfectly captured both Chaeyoung and the view of Seoul behind them, and it was certainly Instagram worthy. Chaeyoung kept swiping, hoping that Lisa would at least say something about any of them. It was beginning to make her feel self conscious. Then, she stopped on one picture, in which she was looking at her camera with her head tilted slightly upwards, a coy smile on her face and her eyes piercing and striking. 

Lisa sharply inhaled. 

"What is it? You don't like this one?" Chaeyoung queried. 

She could feel Lisa shake her head. 

"No, it's perfect. You're beautiful." Lisa softly uttered. 

For some reason, Chaeyoung thought Lisa was joking. She turned to face her, but not only was Lisa already looking at her, her face was showcasing no indication of humour. She was smiling gently, causing Chaeyoung's stomach to flutter. Chaeyoung couldn't control her eyes from wandering. They transfixed onto Lisa's plump lips, and Chaeyoung bit her own, frowning as she tried to refrain from thinking about what she _really_  wanted to do. Lisa seemed to have the same idea. She gazed at Chaeyoung through dark, half-lidded eyes. Chaeyoung could almost swear that she was slowly inching forward, and she wondered if she was going to do what she thought she was going to do. She wondered if she could deal with the aftermath if it happened.

Chaeyoung turned away in a moment of self-inflicted panic. She cleared her throat, her face burning like she had been thrown into a blazing fire head first. 

"We should probably go and join the others." She croaked out.

Lisa promptly tucked a strand of her own hair behind her ear. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. 

"Yeah. We should." 

Chaeyoung nodded and took off. She widened her eyes once her back was turned to Lisa. There was no denying what could have just happened between them. 

Chaeyoung wasn't oblivious. 

She knew how deeply she wished that they had kissed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I say this like every chapter but dude, thank you all for the support. Literally what can I even say. HOW does this fic have almost 400 kudos!?!?! I LOVE you guys.


	12. Meaning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter
> 
> @qxeenkillas on twitter :)

If avoidance of a person less than a metre away was a skill, Chaeyoung would have mastered it. The awkwardness of the rooftop encounter was making it almost painful to look at Lisa, talk to her or even acknowledge her. She made her way down the stairs keeping a good distance between them, her heart still thudding like there was no tomorrow. 

"You took _so_ long." Jennie complained when the pair of them finally reached the ground floor. Clearly, neither her of Jisoo seemed to realise that Lisa took thirty more seconds to get to the bottom than Chaeyoung. 

Chaeyoung laughed. "Sorry."

Jisoo waved her hand. "Don't apologise. Jennie's just impatient." Jennie nudged her with her shoulder and Jisoo chuckled. "Did you manage to get the perfect Instagram shot?"

"Yeah, I helped her take the picture. She looks amazing in it." Lisa said.

Chaeyoung forced a tight smile as the familiar wave of heat flushed over her. Why did Lisa have to speak? Couldn't she just allow Chaeyoung a minute to try and find some sense of normalcy? Now all Chaeyoung could think about was Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. Not that she wasn't before.

Jennie grinned but Jisoo looked offended. "You must be special Chaeyoung because Lisa  _never_ helps me with my Instagram photos. In fact, she never helps any of us!"

Chaeyoung glanced at Lisa, who was going red from embarrassment. 

"We better go. There's still a lot to sort out with the club." Lisa said hurriedly. 

Jisoo gave Lisa a funny look but obliged, and the four of them made to leave. Her avoidance plan was going well so far, it was a lot easier to have minimal contact with Lisa when Jennie and Jisoo were there to ease the awkwardness. It was unfortunate, then, that they all had to travel in Chaeyoung's car to get back to the club. It was also unfortunate that Jennie and Jisoo insisted on sitting in the back seats, forcing Lisa to sit beside Chaeyoung as she drove. Despite Jisoo and Jennie not allowing there to be a silent segment for the entire journey back,  Chaeyoung focused on driving and only occasionally pitched in with a laconic comment or answer. Chayeoung could vaguely see Lisa glancing at her every so often through her peripheral, which wasn't helping anything. 

Once back at the club, Jisoo exhaled.

"Seriously, both of you. Thank you so much for everything. You've made what is probably the worst day of my life better." She said, warm eyes settled on Jennie. Jennie blushed. 

"You know I'll always be here for you," Jennie said, and the double meaning rang loud and clear. Jisoo smiled. "Do you need help with anything else?"

Jisoo shook her head. "You guys have work tomorrow. Head home. We'll both keep you updated. Right, Lisa?"

Lisa nodded once. "Yeah um, I'll text you?" She said to Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung was pretty sure she flinched. She hoped it wasn't that obvious. 

"And I will reply to that text. A-S-A-P."

Chaeyoung didn't know why she had lost the ability to converse like an adult. Jennie didn't either, because she was looking at Chaeyoung like she had grown two heads. 

Lisa nodded slowly. "Great."

"Okay, well, I have some stuff to do before work tomorrow, so I better go. "

Jisoo and Lisa bid Chaeyoung a farewell, and Jennie mumbled something about Chaeyoung being so work driven. On her way back home, Chaeyoung had to play her music at the highest possible volume to drown out her rampant thoughts.  

* * *

 

The next day at work, Chaeyoung was reaching her breaking point. She'd thought, maybe if she had a good night's sleep she would wake up in the morning feeling miraculously better, all thoughts and feelings towards Lisa and their almost-kiss gone permanently. Chaeyoung didn't even  _have_ a good night's sleep. She hardly slept at all. She had spent hours jumping to every single conclusion, considering every single possibility, and it had kept Chaeyoung up all night. In the end, her mind didn't feel any clearer than before. 

"Jesus. You look like an extra from the walking dead." Jennie commented as soon as Chaeyoung trudged into the office.

Chaeyoung sighed. She thought she had hidden her dark eye bags well enough with concealer.  

"Gee, thanks a lot Jennie." She grumbled, sliding into her desk and taking another swig from her third cup of coffee.

Jennie stared at Chaeyoung with her head cocked to one side. "Bad sleep?" 

Chaeyoung rubbed her temples with a groan. "Understatement."

"Did you have another nightmare? I told you that we shouldn't have watched that movie, Chaeng."

Chaeyoung shook her head vigourously. She'd tried so hard to get the thoughts of that devilish nun out of her head since her and Jennie first watched the conjuring 2  _months ago_ , but the recurring nightmares never stopped. At the time, Jennie had suggested they watch something else, solely because she knew how much of a scaredy cat Chaeyoung was, but in a moment of stubbornness Chaeyoung had insisted they watch the movie to prove she was fearless. It didn't end too well. Chaeyoung nearly cried. 

"It's not that." Chaeyoung said. She wanted to tell Jennie everything, but how could she explain it to Jennie when she could hardly explain it to herself?  

Jennie picked up on Chaeyoung's stressed demeanour. "We'll talk at lunch in our usual spot. Okay?" 

Chaeyoung nodded and got back to work.

Lunch couldn't have come soon enough. Jennie and Chaeyoung's 'usual spot' was close by, this aesthetically pleasing cafe with baristas who smiled too wide and drew intricate leaves in each cup of cappuccino. Chaeyoung loved it there. Jennie and her frequented the place on their lunch hours, so much so that their orders and names were remembered by the staff. On that day, the cafe was buzzing with life, every table occupied, but Chaeyoung was pleased to find that Jennie had managed to save a table for the two of them amongst the madness. Once Chaeyoung had plonked herself into the seat opposite Jennie, Jennie gave her a very knowing look. 

"This is about Lisa, isn't it?"

Chaeyoung covered her face with both of her hands and let out a guttural, stressed groan that made Jennie immediately chuckle.

"So that is a resounding yes. What's going through your mind?" 

Chaeyoung didn't know where to start. 

"Well, shall I start off with the fact that I'm sixty percent sure we almost kissed yesterday?"

Jennie's face contorted into surprise, her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide. Chaeyoung was expecting such a reaction from her. It made sense. Until the sentence left her mouth, she was sure that Jennie was adamant about Chaeyoung's heterosexuality. Hell, _Chaeyoung_ was adamant about Chaeyoung's heterosexuality.

Well, she used to be.

"What, so she tried to kiss you or you tried to kiss her?" Jennie questioned, trying to make sense of the situation.

Chaeyoung shook her head. "Neither. Or-... I don't know. All I _do_ know is that I like, wanted to kiss her. I  _really_ wanted to, Jennie."

Jennie slowly nodded. The entire situation flew Chaeyoung back to when Jennie confessed that she wasn't straight, except this time it was a whole lot more mind-fucking because chaeyoung had no clue and Jennie looked like she had no clue that chaeyoung had no clue and everything was confusing and Chaeyoung wanted to die. 

"Right. And um... Does that mean you--"

"That's exactly the point! I don't know what it means! What does it mean?" Chaeyoung exasperated, clutching at her forehead in stress. 

Jennie was thinking, tapping her chin. She was surprisingly calm given the fact that her bestfriend was on the verge of a breakdown. "Well, maybe--"

"And it's like, in any normal situation I would just cut off contact with her and forget she exists but I physically _cannot_. And then there's all the shit that Sorn told me and I need to talk to Lisa about that too but everytime we have a conversation and she freaking  _looks_ at me with those goddamn gorgeous eyes I'm either annoyed or _infuriatingly_ attracted to her and it's so fucking confusing and I don't know what to do anymore!"

"Whoa! Pause- Did you just swear? What did Sorn tell you-- Wait, are you crying?"

" _No_!" Chaeyoung sobbed. 

Jennie covered her mouth with her hand to conceal her giggle and reached over to rub Chaeyoung's shoulder comfortingly. "Oh honey. We'll figure this out eventually. It's okay." 

Chaeyoung furiously wiped her (few) tears away with her hand and glared at Jennie. "Stop laughing! I'm losing my mind!" She snapped. 

"You're not losing your mind. You're just overwhelmed with your emotions at the moment. Maybe you do like Lisa, maybe you don't. Either way, there's nothing wrong with that and that doesn't make you abnormal or crazy." Jennie cooed, the laughter gone and seriousness occupying her face. Chaeyoung exhaled. Jennie was right, of course. Jennie was always right. But Chaeyoung wasn't ready to confront that side of herself just yet.

"Every girl has a girl crush on another girl in their lifetime though, right? I mean, who wouldn't want to make out with Rihanna, whether you like girls or not? It's just a part of growing up right? It doesn't mean anything." Chaeyoung said, the desperation in her voice shrill. 

Jennie shook her head. "I love you, but that is literally what I used to say when I was 12 and trying to explain my infatuation with Bethany Walters."

"Am I supposed to know who the fuck Bethany Walters is?"

"Park Chaeyoung drops another f- bomb people!" Jennie announced loudly to no-one in particular, clearly amused. "And she was a teaching assistant at my old school back in New Zealand, used to teach me bad English words when the teacher wasn't looking- which now that I think about it was kinda messed up."

"Ew, Jennie. Trust _you_ to have a crush on a teacher."

"She wasn't a teacher! She was a teaching assistant. Anyway, that's beside the point. Chaeyoung, you can look for reasoning and excuses and _no homo_  the whole situation all you want, but deep down only you know how you feel about Lisa. Something about the way you're stressing out right now, and the bags under your eyes that definitely aren't the most flattering," Jennie smirked. "Tells me that you know exactly how you feel and that it's not just a hetero girl crush. Right now, though, what Lisa needs is a friend. Don't allow these conflicting emotions to jeopardise that friendship, okay?" 

Chaeyoung pouted. Jennie really was spitting straight facts, she would be an idiot to try and disagree. Admittedly, she was feeling slightly better. Lisa needed a friend, and Chaeyoung needed a friend too. Chaeyoung wasn't going to rupture that just because she kinda wanted to kiss her. 

"You're right. I suppose I should be a good friend and talk to her about the Sorn thing." Chaeyoung said, moreso to herself than to Jennie. 

Jennie perked an eyebrow. "Am I going to be let in on this Sorn thing? Did Sorn profess her undying love for Lisa to you or something?"

"Not even."Chaeyoung shook her head with a smile, not elaborating. "Forget about all of my drama, how are things holding up with you and Jisoo?" She'd been meaning to ask Jennie about it.

Jennie got that glazed look across her eyes that she always did whenever Jisoo was mentioned.

"Good I guess. We're friends."

"But you still want to be more?"

"I'm happy just to be in her life. But I can't help but think that this means something, that it's not a coincidence that you visited that particular club and that her and I saw each other again after all these years. Our relationship is like- How can I put it? It feels like those relationships that are never really done...you kind of always have that person, that one person, who you feel like might interrupt your wedding and be like 'don‘t do it because we're not over yet'." Jennie expressed. 

Chaeyoung nodded in understanding. She felt like it was only a matter of time before Jisoo realised that her and Jennie's relationship wasn't over. She only hoped that Jennie didn't end up heartbroken.

"She's such a nice person." Chaeyoung said honestly. Jisoo was probably the sweetest person she'd ever met.

Jennie chuckled. "She can be a real asshole sometimes, trust me. But that's what I love about her." 

Both girls laughed, and in the nick of time their food and coffee was brought to the table. For the rest of the lunch, they chattered about everything and anything. But, Chaeyoung knew she had something to do. She had to speak to Lisa about Thailand and Sorn. She just had to.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Gay panic* ft Chaennie


End file.
